High Society of Tortuna


High Society of Tortuna

by AKK

Rated: Unrated

As always we present the latest news from the palace...

the Bubblehead,
that observed when the highest Queen got dressed in the morning and informed almost half of the galaxy about how many guards were needed to close her corset properly.
(I've been told it were at least 48.)
Her famous Highness as usual offer 50.000 Tortunian Crowns (as a cheque, of course! Don't fear to be rich afterwards.)


As always we present the latest news from the palace...

very necessary
a new informer in the High Palace,
since our last one mysteriously vanished...
We always offer regular publications with his name printed in grateful tall letters...
the editorial department


As always we present the latest news from the palace...

dead or alive
the first royal herald,
that published the last "wanted" circular.
Her famous Highness as usual offer 150.000 Tortunian Crowns.
Her famous Highness herself.


The new hot tip under the super models -- Ms. Eve Wheiner -- presented today the new collection of PsyCry.
(Of course, it's only a bad rumour that Ms. Wheiner had to skip her career as a rock star and is now presenting haute culture because she ran out of money after the mysterious disappearance of her father.)
The new style of PsyCry is reflected by wide swinging unisex costums for all occasions. We are going to present the most remarkable pieces of this new collection in a series of articles in our magazine. Of course, we are starting right now:

This wide swinging rag dress is marked by a bright pink colour and little frills around the plunging neckline, which is framed by six hexagonal crystals in dark purple and red. The appearance of Ms. Wheiner was really amazing (as one of my colleagues said: breathtaking).
Here are some comments about Psych-1 from well-known persons (though their reactions were quite different from what we expected):

Commander Walsh, base commander of Beta mountain:
"No comment!"
Captain Fox, GRS-5:
"Please take that away. Those crystals evoke unwellcome memories."
Ranger Niko, GRS-5:
"Don't dare even to assume that I voluntarily would wear something pink!"
(After that, she called for the security service which showed us out.)


This flowing dark brown robe is completed with a wide dark red cape and a frayed straw hat of amazing simplicity.
Usually, we present at this point some comments about the new dress, but we decided against it for a description about what happened when we presented Scare-5 in BetaMountain's laboratory.

"Mr. QBall, please give us a statement about your honest opinion of the new creation from PsyCry - Scare-5."
Mr. QBall:
"I don't have time to waste on such a nonsense."
"We are very interested in the opinion of a scientist of your reputation."
Mr. Qball:
"I can't say anything about a heap of cloth in a paper box!"
"Ah, there's Ranger Hardford. He surely will help us with this problem. -- Ranger!"
Ranger Hardford:
"I'm sorry, Madam. But I have absolutely no talent for being a dressman at all." (He looked really sorry about that, than his face lightened up.) "But I know somebody who has." (He grapped the box with Scare-5 and vanished in the back of the laboratory.)
Ranger Gooseman:
"QBall, have you seen the sharpener for my throwing stars?"
Mr. QBall:
"No. And I hope for silence here!"
Ranger Gooseman:
"Hey. I just asked--" (At that moment Ranger Hardford reappeared with somebody wearing Scare-5 with a formal though somehow stiff elegance. Ranger Gooseman turned round and fired at the new creation. Blue-and white metall came to vision under the burning cloth.) "Sorry, Buzz." (He holstered his weapons.)
Ranger Hardford (who had jumped to the side):
"Hey, what do you have against our android?"
Ranger Gooseman (shrugged):
"I've got this reflex against moving scarecrows..."
The Android:
"Don't worry, Ranger Hardford. I was fabricated out off the best availabe alloys. Ranger Gooseman didn't damage any part of my system."
Ranger Hardford (picked a smoking rag of Scare-5 from the android's shoulder):
"At least it looks better now than before. -- But, why are you armed, my Goose man? We are in Beta, after all."
Ranger Gooseman:
"What?! Should I walk around in the nude, then?!"
Mr. QBall:
"Be quiet! I have to concentrate upon this." (At that moment the sprinklers of the fire extinguishing system started to work and filled the whole room with soft yellow foam. We don't dared to say anything further because of the dangerous appearance of Ranger Gooseman.)

Senator Wheiner has proposed a motion in the Board of World Leaders for handing over Galaxy Ranger Shane Gooseman to the Queen of the Crown. As far as our correspondent knows, the Senator has discovered a wanted file of the Tortunian Empire for Ranger Gooseman that promises a reward of 9.900.000.000.000 Tortunian Crowns.
We've been told that if the Queen is forced to pay that reward the Tortunian Empire won't be able to build up a new armada against the League.
The debate on the motion is still going on.
We'll keep you -- as always -- informed.

The Board of World Leaders has turned down the motion for handing over a Galaxy Ranger to the Queen of the Crown after a very polite Ranger Captain and an obviously furious young female Ranger have informed the BWL that because of the exchange rate and the current inflation on Tortuna 9.900.000.000.000 Tortunian Crowns in our currency are about 5$.
Since this wouldn't even cover the costs of the fuel needed for the handing-over, the Board of World Leaders decided against the motion of Senator Wheiner.
We'll keep you -- as always -- informed.

Mysterious flu epidemy in the Series-5!
B.E.T.A. Commander J. Walsh recieved notifications of sickness of all (!) four members of the fabulous Series-5 Galaxy Rangers. We are told that they are infected by a very suddenly appearing flu virus that is not covered by this year's flu shots. Even the ST was seen with a kleenex box.
We didn't get a comment of any kind from the medical corps about the danger of a possible flu epidemy (except the standard phrase about washing the hands after...).
Senator accused of "breach of contract"!
Senator Wheiner is accused of commiting a breach of contract by an unknown alien aristocrat. We are told that the bill of indictment ends with the phrase: "You will bear the consequences and you will pay, Eric!" and is signed with "QC".
We'll keep you -- as always -- informed.