Bubblehead took off with the disclaimer saying something about me not owning any Galaxy Ranger characters. Here's another fun mad fic that I just wanted to write for the fun of it! Wheeeee!
Commander Walsh gave himself a final look over in the mirror. Today was going to be a good day. Most of the Galaxy Rangers were either on missions or had the day off. Fortunately no major crisis was going on. No attack on Earth by the Queen of the Crown. All that was going on today was a minor diplomatic reception. A diplomatic reception where a certain Earth Ambassador, one Magdella Domani would be there. The two of them were once very close and it seemed like their one time romance was once again blossoming.
Yes today was going to be a very good day.
"HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO MALE NURSE!" Bubblehead, the absent minded Memory Bird with a few circuits loose flew into the room.
"And now this is where the very good day goes straight to Hell…" Commander Walsh moaned.
"Hey it's Commander Mustache!" Bubblehead chirped.
"What are you doing here you stupid bird?" Commander Walsh growled.
"I heard you were lonely so I came to cheer you up!" Bubblehead landed on his head. "Boy that mustache you have is really bushy! How do you keep it so clean? Do you use a special shampoo or what?"
"I thought Gooseman locked you up in your cage?" Walsh brushed Bubblehead away with his hands.
"He did," Bubblehead landed on his desk.
"Then how did you get out?"
"Beats me," Bubblehead shrugged. He started looking at all the papers on Walsh's desk. "Ooh! Look at all this pretty paper! You have any crayons?"
"Get off my desk you lousy excuse for a feather duster!" Walsh bellowed.
"Look I made a hat!" Bubblehead quickly assembled a paper hat from one of the papers and put it on his head.
"Okay that is it! I am personally going to remove your circuits one by one!" Walsh tried to grab Bubblehead but missed.
"Oh we're playing tag?" Bubblehead laughed as he flew around. "Catch me! Catch me! Catch me!"
"Oh I'll catch you all right!" Walsh chased the bird around.
"Wow Commander you're really out of shape," Bubblehead noticed as he flew, accidentally knocking over more papers and pieces of art. "Maybe you should hit the gym every now and then?"
"How about I hit you?" Walsh panted.
"Commander Walsh?" Ambassador Magdella Domani walked in. "I could hear the racket from down the hall!"
"Hi Lady!" Bubblehead waved. "What's shakin' bacon?"
"What in the world?" Ambassador Domani blinked.
"Get out of here bird!" Walsh tried to grab Bubblehead but the bird eluded his grasped.
"Oh I get it," Bubblehead chirped. "You want to be alone with your lady friend. You sly dog!"
"GET OUT OF HERE!" Walsh shouted as Bubblehead flew out the open door.
"Commander Walsh and his lady friend sitting in a tree!" Bubblehead sang with gusto. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
"What was that?" Domani asked.
"A perpetual pain in my neck and other areas," Walsh grumbled. "Why I let Doc talk me out of disassembling that bird I will never know!"
Meanwhile Bubblehead was flying down the corridor. "Flying, flying!" He sang. "Flying with my paper hat!"
Bubblehead soon flew into a very large, very lavishly decorated room where several humans and aliens in fancy outfits were mingling. "Hey a party! I love parties!"
He landed on the buffet table. "Wow what a spread! Where's the nachos?"
Senator Wheiner made his way to the buffet table to have a snack. What he saw quickly ruined his appetite. "Oh no! Not you!"
"Hey Whiny! How's it hanging?" Bubblehead chirped as he stood in the middle of a large dip bowl. "Try this dip! It feels nice and squishy beneath your toes!"
"Get out of there you disgusting little…" Wheiner hissed and tried to grab the bird. Bubblehead not only eluded him but tipped the dip bowl violently, splashing dip all over the senator.
It also splashed dip on a broccoli like alien nearby. "What in the world?" The alien ambassador turned around and saw Wheiner standing their with dip on him. "Is this your idea of a joke?"
"It wasn't me! It was the stupid bird here!" Wheiner snapped.
"What bird?" The alien shouted. Bubblehead was nowhere to be seen. "On my planet when someone throws dip on a person it is taken as a highest insult!" The alien sniffed and turned his back on Wheiner.
Bubblehead popped his head out of the salad bowl nearby where he was hiding. "Gee I would have thought with someone like you it was a sign you needed something to go with your outfit. Sour cream is so you!"
"WHAT?" The alien whirled around on Wheiner. Bubblehead ducked back down into the salad just before the alien could see him.
"IT WAS THE BIRD! THERE'S A BIRD IN THE SALAD!" Wheiner pointed.
"Wheiner have you been drinking again?" Another human senator walked up.
"But there is a bird in the salad Senator Smith!" Wheiner protested.
"Sure there is," Smith said sarcastically as he grabbed Wheiner's arm. "And there's a giraffe in the men's room. Let's take a look at it shall we?" He strong armed Wheiner away from the alien scolding him under his breath.
When it was safe Bubblehead popped out. "Some people are so cranky," Bubblehead fluttered out and went off to find new friends.
However he left his hat behind in the salad. Ambassador Zezaw, Zozo's brother in law happened to come across the salad. "What is this?" He unfolded the paper and read it. "WHAT?"
Meanwhile Bubblehead was flying along trying to keep a low profile. He accidentally bumped into a female hippo like alien standing next to a squid like alien. "Whoopsie!"
"Oh! I never!" The hippo like female ambassador slapped the squid like ambassador. "Keep your hands or whatever you call them to yourself mister!"
"I didn't! I…" The squid like ambassador sputtered.
"Morris!" A female squid alien snapped. "I knew it! I can't take you anywhere without your tentacles wandering all over the place!"
"Honey! Sweetie! I didn't do anything!" The ambassador tried to placate his angry wife.
"Oh right! Like you didn't do anything to that waitress on Delos 9!" She shouted at him.
"Boy people here are so crabby," Bubblehead decided to walk on the floor away from the screaming match. "Is this a party or a wake? If it gets any duller I won't be awake. Maybe some music will liven things up?"
Bubblehead wandered around. "Boy what a bunch of cheapskates not to hire a band," He remarked. He saw some dials. "I wonder if this is where the radio is?"
He fiddled around with several of them. The lights started to dim and then turned off completely. "Hmmm…I wonder if I did that?"
Several people shouted and yelled in the confusion. "What's going on? Ow! Watch where you're stepping! You watch where you're stepping! You stepped on my tentacles! Doesn't BETA have enough funding to keep some lousy lights working?! OW! Watch it! Hands off pervert! MORRIS!"
"Excuse me! Coming through!" Bubblehead flew around bumping into people. "Hey watch it wide load!"
"What did you call me?" One large alien snapped at another.
"I didn't say anything!" The other alien snapped back.
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"In a word, yes!" Both aliens started shouting at each other.
Bubblehead tried to fly around. "Man it's dark in here? Who turned off the lights?" Bubblehead grumbled.
He accidentally bumped into another senator and knocked over his drink. Of course the senator blamed the alien next to him and the alien took offense. And then Bubblehead bumped into an alien and the alien mistook a human for bumping into him and he took offense. And so on and so on until nearly everyone in the room was blaming each other for spilled drinks, accidental bumps and other imagined slights.
By the time someone turned the lights back on, Bubblehead had moved on. "Here's the radio!" Bubblehead found some more dials and turned them. "Aww…This can't be the radio! It has pictures!"
"Hey the baseball game's on," Someone remarked. Several people went to watch an Earth baseball game being played.
"And now we're here at the top of the ninth with a tie score of the only two original baseball teams to survive both World War Three and Four due to diehard fans with a rivalry that not even two nuclear holocausts could destroy…" The Announcer said. "The Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees!"
"Go Red Sox!" A green hairy monster alien called out.
"Go Yankees!" A human shouted.
"WHAT?" Both aliens shouted at each other. "RED SOX! NO YANKEES! RED SOX! NO YANKEES! RED SOX! YANKEES! RED SOX!"
Meanwhile things were not going well for Wheiner. "How dare you insinuate that Earth would cut the funding for joint agricultural projects with Kirwin?" Wheiner snapped at Zezaw and Zozo.
"Don't deny it! It's all here in this document!" Zezaw waved the document in his face. "It details your plan to cut funding and to try and cut the agricultural budget for the entire League of Planets!"
"Where did you get that?" Wheiner shouted. "Wait…You didn't find it in the salad did you?"
"It doesn't matter where I found it! It's true isn't it?" Zezaw snapped.
"Hold on, if you found it in the salad then that stupid bird must have put it there!" Wheiner shouted. "That's it! That memory bird must have put it in there! I told you Smith! I told you that bird is trying to ruin me!"
Senator Smith looked back and forth. "I and the rest of the Board of World Leaders have nothing to do with this. This is just more proof of Whiener's drunken ramblings!"
"Why you lousy backstabbing little…" Senator Wheiner's face turned bright red and he attempted to strangle Senator Smith. "YOU SAID YOU WOULD BACK ME ALL THE WAY!"
"NO I DIDN'T!" Smith screamed. "HELP! DRUNKEN MANIAC TRYING TO KILL ME HERE!"
"So much yelling…It's like a family reunion," Bubblehead flew and accidentally bumped into the same hippo alien. "Whoops!" Of course no one saw him. (The hippo alien was far too large to notice.)
"AAAH! HE DID IT AGAIN!" The hippo female alien screamed.
"Get your tentacles off my wife you slimy little…" The hippo husband of the alien ambassador snapped.
"Just because your wife is a cold fish doesn't mean you can just…" The hippo alien female agreed.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" The squid alien female shouted. Suddenly all four aliens started to scream at each other. And then hit each other.
By now Commander Walsh and Ambassador Domani had just arrived at the reception. "Thank you for allowing this reception of our alien ambassadors with members of the government," Domani said.
"Anything to promote interplanetary peace and harmony," Walsh escorted her on his arm.
"DIE YOU FREAKY ALIEN NUTJOB!" Someone screamed. "DIE!"
"Now what's going wrong around here?" Walsh groaned. "Oh no…"
They stood there in shock as most of the senators and alien ambassadors were having a free for all in the room. Except of course for the Andorians, who just basically stood to the sides trying not to get hit with flying food.
"This is most disgraceful," Waldo sighed as pieces of pie dripped from his face and onto his outfit.
"I WANT A DIVORCE!" The female squid alien was choking her husband. "I'VE HAD IT MORRIS!"
"Have some dip Broccoli Brains!" Wheiner screamed as he threw some dip at an ambassador that did resemble a green stalk of broccoli.
"THIS IS WAR YOU DRUNKEN LUNATIC!" The broccoli alien screamed and tackled Wheiner along with several other aliens and senators.
"What the devil…?" Walsh's jaw dropped.
"Joseph what is going on here?" Ambassador Domani gasped.
"Hey there! Welcome to the party!" Bubblehead flew up to them. "Boy things have sure livened up haven't they?"
"Why do I have the feeling that you're responsible for all this?" Walsh glared at the memory bird from Hell. "GOOSEMAN!"
Somewhere in outer space Shane Gooseman felt a chill run down his spine. "Oh no…"
"What?" Zach asked as he flew the Ranger One. "What is it?"
"I think Bubblehead did something back home…" Shane groaned.
"What makes you say that?" Zach asked.
"Because I could have sworn I heard the Commander screaming…" Shane winced. "Zach can we take the long way home? Please?"
"Come on Goose," Zach said. "That's a little far fetched don't you think?"
"Check the news feed," Shane gave him a look. "Then we'll see how far fetched it is!"
Zach shrugged and turned on the channel patching them into Earth news. "Breaking news! A small riot has broken out at BETA Mountain among several alien ambassadors. Several ambassadors and senators have been detained for questioning. Although many fingers point the blame at Senator Eric Wheiner for starting the fight, Wheiner has consistently denied it. In fact he insists that the real cause for the incident is a small pink bird wearing a purple lab coat."
"I knew it…" Shane groaned.
"Senator Wheiner who is a known alcoholic has been taken back to the Promises, Promises Rehab Center…" The reporter continued. "This will be his third stay in as many months. Meanwhile rumors are circulating that the planets Hipowodon and Calamaria have declared war on each other due to the incident."
"I guess it couldn't hurt to take a look around Saturn's rings for a while," Zach blinked.
"Maybe six or seven years?" Shane rolled his eyes.