BETA Needs Cash
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BETA Needs Cash
by Red Witch
Summary: Commander Cain will do anything, and I mean anything to make money.
The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters is broke. Just some mad scribblings from my mad mind.
"Commander I'd like to have a word with you," Zachery Foxx walked into Commander Cain's office. "It appears there are reports of an illegal gambling casino nearby."
"How near are we talking about?" Cain asked.
"BETA Mountain's motor pool," Zach folded his arms.
"Oh that," Cain waved. "Captain Foxx there is a perfectly good reason why there is a mini casino in the motor pool."
"Why is that?"
"Because Hanger Nine keeps getting set on fire for some reason," Cain said. "And quite frankly those roulette tables cost a small fortune. So I figured the motor pool would be best for safety reasons."
"Sir you are aware that as a Galaxy Ranger you are supposed to uphold law and order, right?" Zach sighed.
"Is it a crime to make a small casino in your place of business and use the profits to help keep that business running?" Cain asked.
"In a word, YES!" Zach barked.
"Calm down Foxx," Cain said.
"Calm down? You've got roulette wheels and crap tables in the motor pool and have a floating poker game fleecing senators and ambassadors alike and you want me to calm down?" Zach barked.
"How did you find out about the floating poker game?" Cain asked. "Wait I bet it was that crybaby Ambassador Rigel. Just because he lost a few thousand credits is no reason to have a hissy fit."
"Commander this is serious!"
"I'll say," Cain said. "That game was three weeks ago and still that deadbeat won't pay up!"
"Have you completely forgotten that the Galaxy Rangers' reputation is already tarnished thanks to Walsh?" Zach barked. "If this gets out it could tarnish our reputation even more."
"Get out? Please," Cain waved. "Who's going to tell?"
"What if some politician decides to spill the beans to the news?" Zach asked. "An honest politician?"
Cain laughed. "Honest politician. That's very funny, Foxx. We all know there ain't no such animal."
"What about Premier Zoot Martin?" Zach asked.
"Oh yeah him," Cain frowned. "Don't worry. He'll never find out. And if he does he won't cause that much of a stink about it."
"Why is that?" Zach asked.
"Because then I would have to inform our dear leader that certain plants he purchased from me were also illegal," Cain smirked. Then he noticed the frown on Zach's face. "Orchids! The man loves Orchids! Rare flowers for his indoor garden! Get your mind out of the gutter!"
"Commander…" Zach put his head in his hand.
"Look Foxx, we all know that thanks to the Civil War Earth's finances are in worse shape than someone just starting Weight Watchers," Cain said. "As a result our budget has been cut drastically and I've had to make certain executive decisions in order to keep this place running! You try running a billion dollar defense system on only ten million dollars a year!"
"Ten million? Buzzwang paid more than that when he built the vending machines and installed track lighting in the gym!" Zach said.
"Exactly! It hasn't been easy but I've managed to get this place running on a budget," Cain said. "So if I have to rely on a few unorthodox methods to pay for extra fuel or more targets for the target practice range so be it."
"Cain I appreciate the fact that you have to deal with a very difficult time at BETA," Zach said. "And I understand that you may have to bend the rules in order for this place to survive. But if you think for one minute that me and my team are going to help you run any illegal gambling rings you are out of your mind!"
"Captain Foxx I am appalled you would even suggest that!" Cain said. "I know how valuable you Series Five Rangers are and rest assured I would never consider asking any one of you to do something that would tarnish the good name of the Galaxy Rangers."
"Sir, I've got the racing forms ready for you," Ranger Allen, a Series Four ranger walked in. "Oh and I also picked up that new bingo machine for the motor pool."
Zach gave Cain a look. "What? Allen is a Series Four Ranger!" Cain told him. "Four, not five! Completely different."
"Oh lord…" Zach groaned.
"Commander!" Billy ran in. "Guess what? Sundancer's newest foal was born! It was a male and I named him Sunspot."
"Way to go kid," Cain said proudly.
"Wait you bred Sundancer?" Zach was stunned. "Billy how did Cain talk you into that?"
"It's a good idea," Billy said. "Come on! You gotta see them!"
"Them?" Zach said.
"Come on, this is really cool!" Cain got up. "It's one of my best ideas yet!"
"That's what I'm afraid of," Zach groaned.
Soon they were in the Ranger stables. There were six mares each with a winged foal. Some of the foals were white while others were white and brown. One was white and black.
"Wow, winged ponies at BETA," Ranger Allen said.
"Sundancer is the father of all these foals?" Zach was stunned.
"Impressive huh? And there are six more on the way," Cain said proudly. "Remind me to show Ranger Gooseman these when he gets back from his mission. This my dear Foxx is Maxx Sawyer's final legacy in action! And Sundancer is gonna get a lot more action in the future!"
"Where did these mares come from?" Zach asked.
"Oh the Commander won them in a poker game from…" Ranger Allen began. Cain glared at him. "I should shut up now."
"Commander I have to ask," Zach said. "How does breeding flying horses fit in with our economic budget at BETA?"
"Think of it Foxx, whole divisions of specially trained flying horses…" Cain said. "Flying into areas difficult for robo steeds to maneuver in. Able to patrol much more ground faster and more efficiently on the frontier than normal steeds."
"Gotta admit it's innovative," Zach said.
"Don't worry I'm not gonna get rid of robo steeds anytime soon," Cain said. "But you gotta admit having some special Galaxy Ranger units riding flying horses would do a lot of good work on frontier planets like Nebraska and Prairie. Patrolling the skies. Carrying mail and rangers to dangerous locations…"
"And winning alien horse races like Sundancer did back on Tortuna!" Allen finished.
"Of course! Why does this not shock me?" Zach groaned.
"Hey not all of them are gonna do any racing," Cain said. "Like I said, most of them are going to be used for a new flying horse unit! We discovered that Sundancer's wings are a dominant trait so these horses can be bred with regular horses when they get older. If all goes well, in less than a decade we'll have great stable full of flying horses to help on the frontier."
"Sundancer is my father's last legacy," Billy said. "His last gift to me. In a way, helping Cain with this project ensures his legacy lives on."
"And boy is Sundancer going to live," Cain snorted. "I wish I had his job!"
"Some days I wish someone had my job," Zach sighed.
"This is Sunspot," Billy indicated the black and white foal. Then he went to the other ones. "That's Sunstreak, Sunfire, Light Dancer, Star Dancer, and Snow Dancer. I decided Sun for the males and Dancer for the females."
"That way they are all named after their sire," Cain smiled. Snow Dancer, an all white foal whinnied and Cain petted her. "Who's Daddy's little precious meal ticket? You're Daddy's little precious meal ticket! Yes, you are! Yes you are!"
"Where's Daddy's little vomit bucket?" Zach groaned.
"I haven't even told you the best part!" Cain said.
"There's more?" Zach asked.
"Oh yeah!" Cain said. "Tell 'em about it Allen!"
"Picture it! Sundancer Baby calendars!" Allen said. "Sundancer Baby stickers! Stuffed ponies! Little girls eat them up! I know I have a niece that would love this!"
"We market these cuddly little ponies and the proceeds go to their upkeep while promoting the Galaxy Ranger philosophy!" Cain said.
"Oh for the love of…" Zach couldn't believe it. "And you agreed to this Billy?"
"They promised me a cut," Billy said. "Hey I gotta pay for med school somehow!"
"I have a headache…" Zach groaned.
"And I get school credit for working on this project," Billy said. "It gets me out of physics class. And gym. You'd be surprised how many credits creating a new species counts on your record."
"This can't get any more insane," Zach said.
"We're also coming up with a new Baby Sundancer cartoon series!" Allen said. "Do you have any experience with cartoon voiceover work Captain?"
"Rule Number Seven of the Galaxy Rangers," Zach sighed. "If you think things can't get any more insane, they do!"