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by Red Witch

Rated: K+

Summary: The Galaxy Rangers try to serve a warrant at a bug show on Mars. This is going to get messy.

The disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger characters has been stolen by rogue cockroaches. More madness from my mind that was driving me…


"Nothing makes me feel as good as serving an arrest warrant to slime that deserve it," Shane Gooseman growled as the Galaxy Rangers walked the streets of New Pigalis on the planet Mars.

"How did Jackie Subtract slip bail anyway?" Niko asked.

"He's reportedly friends with the judge who let him off easy while awaiting trial for that mess last year with that Senator that was trying to rig the elections," Doc explained.

"He sure stuck around long enough to make sure his former partner got what he deserved," Zach growled. "Of course since he turned states' evidence he was supposed to get a reduced sentence. But I guess Subtract didn't want to serve any time."

"So why are we looking for him here?" Shane asked. "I mean, this is supposed to be his city after all. He has to know we're looking for him. So why not lay low on another planet?"

"Simple, Subtract has one weakness and it's got six legs and antennae," Doc said. "His precious pet bug Crumb has been entered in the Interplanetary Insect Show."

"The what?" Shane asked.

"You know how there are dog shows and cat shows?" Doc asked. "This is a show for insects."

"You mean they actually try and judge bugs?" Shane wrinkled his nose in distaste. A large cockroach like creature scurried away. "Just when I think regular humans can't get any weirder."

"Well then buck up My Gooseman," Doc pointed. "Because the Weird Meter just cranked up to eleven!"

"Oh for crying out…" Shane looked at the building they were about to enter in. It was covered in gaudy lights saying Tenth Annual Bug Lovers Show. "This is going to be so disgusting."

"Shane keep an open mind," Niko told him as they went inside. "Some people might think having a memory bird for a pet is disgusting."

"It is disgusting," Shane gave her a look. "Especially when Bubblehead has nachos with extra cheese."

"Nachos with extra cheese?" Zach blinked.

"Don't ask," Shane sighed. There were dozens of varieties of insects in booths all over the place. "Oh man this place is wall to wall creepy."

"Goose, that's no way to talk about the insects," Niko reprimanded him.

"I wasn't talking about the bugs," Shane corrected her. "I was talking about the owners!"

Nearly every owner of all the insects looked like they had stepped out of a mobster movie. "Guys, is it just me or are all these people less than happy to see us?" Doc gulped.

"I guess like attracts like," Shane snarled at the looks they were getting. "Human cockroaches probably feel most at home with real cockroaches!"

At one booth was Subtract petting his favorite bug on a pedestal. "Who's Daddy's little girl? Who's Daddy's precious little girl? Yes you are! Yes you are! You're gonna win Best in Show!"

"Uh boss, we got trouble!" One of Subtract's henchmen pointed at the Rangers.

"Jackie Subtract you are under arrest!" Zach shouted.

"I don't think so! Crumb may be my favorite pet but it's not my only one!" Subtract laughed. He blew a whistle. "BOBO!"

"Bobo?" Doc gulped as a huge nine foot tall red preying mantis type insect flew straight at him. "Nice Bobo…"

"Sic' em Bobo!" Subtract yelled.

"What is it with this guy and bugs?" Shane snarled as he shoved Doc out of the way of Bobo's attack and grabbed it's front legs. He yelled as one of the claws hit his shoulder.

"AAARRRHHH!" Shane growled as the claw stabbed him. He managed to touch his badge. He changed into a green bipedal insectoid with sharp claws on the side of his arms. With enhanced strength he picked up the giant insect and threw it against the wall.

"YOU BRUTE! DON'T TOUCH MY BABY!" Subtract screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Your baby is about to get blasted if you don't knock it off and surrender!" Zach readied his thunderbolt. He barely dodged a blast from a laser himself.

Several more men were firing on him. Zach was forced to take cover behind a pillar. "Fine! Have it your way!" He snapped as he used his thunderbolt to blast part of the wall behind them. Pieces of the wall fell and hit his attackers.

Niko used her psychic shield to protect her and Doc from more laser blasts and attacking insects while Doc was able to shoot through the protective shield and hit their attackers. "I've always wanted to ask you something," Doc said. "Not that I'm complaining but how come their blaster fire can't get in our shield but I can use mine out to shoot them?"

"It's a trade secret," Niko winked. "And so is this move."

Niko expanded her shield rapidly and it knocked out several people and insects. "Lady I like your style," Doc grinned.

Then another large bug with a lot of legs popped out to attack. "AAAHH!" Doc yelled.

Shane, still in his bug form attacked it and sliced it to ribbons with his claws. "Great! I know my dry cleaners don't do bug juice!" Doc winced as some of the mess landed on his uniform.

By now several of the 'participants' in the bug show had decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Many of them grabbed their bugs and were running away, but there were still a good number of hoods that had been knocked unconscious by the battle. Not to mention a few that slipped and fell into bug slime and other body parts that were now littering the floor.

"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Subtract screamed as Goose was pummeling Bobo who had gotten back up again. "Call him off! Call him off! I surrender! I surrender!"

"Smart choice Subtract! Goose, quit playing around and help cuff the prisoners. Niko check the ID's of some of these guys," Zach called out as he looked at all the defeated hoods. "Odds are at least one of 'em is wanted for something."

"What I want is some bug spray and some paper towels," Doc winced as he realized he had stepped in some dead bug guts. "Ewww… Cleanup on aisle seven!"

"I can't believe you guys actually broke up a bug show run by mobsters," Zach Jr. said to his father as the rangers were relaxing in the rec room later. "Actually I'm surprised there are things like bug shows."

"It turned out to be a good bust," Zach smiled. "Not only did we get Subtract, we caught two other mob bosses on the run, three escaped convicts, five other men with arrest warrants ranging from selling drugs to homicide, and two men for possession of illegal narcotics."

"Not to mention we recovered some stolen goods when we did a search of the place," Shane added. "And got a few more jokers working for Subtract who were stupid enough to fire on us."

"And that's not all we got," Doc pulled out a large blue ribbon and gave it to Shane. "This is for you My Gooseman!"

"What's this?" Shane looked at the object. "A medal?"

"Nope," Doc smiled. "It's a blue ribbon. You won Best in Breed Giant Bug Division! Congratulations! If we hadn't busted up the place you'd have won best in show!"

"Five, four, three…" Zach counted off with a sigh. "Two…"

"DOC!" Shane roared as he started to chase Doc around the room. "COME BACK HERE SO I CAN SQUASH YOU!"

"Blast off," Zach sighed. "When will Doc learn not to bug Goose? Oh right, never!"