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Buzzwang's Latest Project

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This fanfic by Red Witch exists on the web at the following location(s) and we suggest visiting the following link(s) rather than viewing the material here:


https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3719789/1/Buzzwang-s-Latest-Project


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Buzzwang's Latest Project

by Red Witch


Rated: K+


Summary: Buzzwang comes up with another project that drives the Rangers nuts. So what else is new?




Buzzwang kind of wrecked the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger characters. Just some madness I thought you might enjoy. I enjoy it anyway!  


 


"You have got to be kidding me! I approved of this?" Walsh winced in disgust as he held up a cute stuffed bear in his hand.


"You did give Buzzwang permission to work on any five projects he wanted for BETA this year," Q-Ball reminded him. "As long as it didn't cost much like his last project. You know those nine million dollar coffee makers and household appliances."


"Don't remind me," Walsh groaned as he looked at the disgustingly cute bear. "And what pray tell is so special about these bears that Buzzwang programmed?"


"These are Therapy Bears," Q-Ball said cheerfully. "Programmed animatronic stress relievers for the busy ranger. Go ahead Commander, try it out."


"Must I?" Walsh sighed.


"Hello," The bear opened his eyes and spoke in a soft cute voice that made a person want to pour cement in one's eardrums. "I like you, you're special."


"You are a waste of space," Walsh growled.


"Let's tear down those walls!" The bear leapt up and hugged Walsh.


"How about we throw you against the wall? Get off me!" Walsh tried to push the bear off of him.


"You will not believe what's going on in the Rec Room," Shane chuckled as he walked in with Bubblehead on his shoulder. He stopped short as he looked at the sight. "Although I have to admit this is weirder."


"A lot weirder," Bubblehead chirped.


"Gooseman what are you doing here?" Walsh shoved the bear off him. "And more importantly what is that electronic feather duster doing here?"


"Buzzwang said there was some kind of meeting in your office," Shane said. "And Bubblehead insisted on coming along."


"I wanted to take my Supertrooper for a walk," Bubblehead chirped.


"And I wanted an apartment without any holes or mess," Shane grumbled. "This was the only way."


"Oh I see you have your bear Commander. Doc and Zach are already trying them out," Buzzwang walked in with a large box of something cooing and squealing happily.


"Trying out bears?" Shane blinked. "You gave them toys?"


"Not toys," Buzzwang corrected. "Therapeutic stress tools."


"Made out of toy bears?" Shane asked.


"Made to resemble toy bears," Buzzwang corrected again. "To evoke positive childhood memories."


"All my positive childhood memories revolve around blasters and the target practice range," Shane told him. "Well and this one time Kilbane and the others got lost on the training grounds for three days because he was too stubborn to listen to me. But that's a long story."


"Well I made one specially for Captain Foxx," Buzzwang went on. "One to help him deal with the absence of his wife."


"Oh I'm sure Zach will love that," Shane rolled his eyes.


"See, even Ranger Gooseman agrees that my therapy bears will do some good," Buzzwang said happily to Q-Ball.


"You really should install some kind of sarcasm detection chip in him or something," Shane told Q-Ball.


"All you need is love!" The bear tried to hug Walsh again.


"All you need is a trip to the incinerator!" Walsh grabbed the bear and threw it in the trash can.


"Ow…Rejection hurts…" The bear whined.


"Bye bye bear…" Bubblehead chirped.


"No matter I made plenty of them," Buzzwang indicated the box.


"Wonderful," Walsh groaned.


"Don't worry little guy, I can find you someone else to love," Buzzwang picked up the therapy bear. "Someone besides Ranger Hartford."


"He doesn't like them either?" Shane asked. "I thought this technical stuff would be right up his alley."


"I'm afraid Ranger Hartford programmed his bear to be rather rude," Buzzwang sighed. "When I last left it, it was singing an off color song and trying to moon Senator Wheiner on the videophone."


"Oh for crying out…" Walsh felt a massive headache coming on. "What was Wheiner calling about this time?"


"He wasn't," Buzzwang sighed. "The bear was making the call. He was concerned about some foreign dignitary named Albert in a can or something."


"Remind me to have a long talk with Ranger Hartford about transferring him to someplace very cold in the near future…" Walsh gritted his teeth.


Shane chuckled. "I dunno, I think I might like that bear."


"Oh good because I have a bear for you Ranger Gooseman," Buzzwang said cheerfully as he put the bear back down on the desk in front of him.


"What?" Shane gave him a dark look.


"I can't wait to see how this goes," Walsh smirked.


"This bear will be a wonderful therapy tool for you," Buzzwang said cheerfully.


"I already have a 'therapy tool'," Shane pointed to Bubblehead. "And I'm still recovering!"


"Be my friend!" The bear chirped and raised it's paws in order to hug Shane. "We can explore our feelings together!"


"Hey! Watch it buddy!" Bubblehead challenged the bear. "I got here first! The Goose is mine! So back off!"


"Violence is not the way you solve problems," The bear said in its sappy voice.


"WANNA BET? DIE!" Bubblehead started to viciously attack the bear.


"AAAAHHH!" The bear screamed as Bubblehead tore it apart. "NO! NO! STOP IT! MY CIRCUITS! HELP!"


"Go Bubblehead!" Shane cheered on the memory bird. "Go for the eyes!"


"AAHHHH! MOMMY!" The bear screamed it's death throws as Bubblehead went for it's vial circuits. "Everything's getting dark…dark…darrrrrrrrrrr…"


"Ranger Niko would have to be off on a mission right now," Walsh groaned.


"Don't worry, Sir," Buzzwang said. "I have plenty of them in this box. I can give her one when she gets back."


"That is not what I meant Buzzwang!" Walsh snapped.


"Why should she be deprived of the fun?" Shane said as he watched Bubblehead pull out the bear's stuffing with glee.


"Nobody messes with Bubblehead! Nobody! Ha ha ha ha!" Bubblehead cackled wildly.


BOOOOOOOOOOOM!


"What in the blue blazes?" Walsh startled.


"That sounded like Zachery's thunderbolt," Shane realized.


"It was Zachery's thunderbolt," Doc smiled as he walked in. "Buzzwang I don't think Captain Foxx appreciates your bears. Well maybe as target practice…"


"Oh my!" Buzzwang held up his hands to his face. "This is not what I had in mind when I created these bears as stress relievers!"


"What do you mean?" Shane asked proudly as he looked at Bubblehead dismantling what was left of the bear. "I feel better already!"


"I sense some jealousy issues here," A bear peeked out from the box.


"YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?" Bubblehead snapped. He made a fist with his wing. "DO YA?"


"EEEP!" The bear ducked back into the box.


"Yeah, didn't think so!" Bubblehead snorted.


"Buzzwang I want to talk to you!" Zach stormed in. "Next time you want to help me with my problems, do me a favor…Don't!"


"Oh come on Zach," Doc said. "Those things aren't so bad once you get them reprogrammed."


"Speaking of which what happened to yours?" Buzzwang asked.


"Oh I left it in the rec room where I'm sure it will be fine," Doc waved. Just then an alarm sounded. "What was that?"


"It sounds like an alarm to me," Bubblehead blinked.


"Sir, someone has just taken off in one of our interceptors!" The control tower reported in.


"What? Who?" Walsh shouted.


"We're not sure sir," The control tower coughed. "Reports are that the thief is very short and fuzzy…"


"Oh no…" Doc blinked. "It can't be…"


"Sir we're getting a transmission from the interceptor!" Q-Ball said. "I'll patch it through!"


"This is Fuzzy Bear! See ya around suckers!" A sappy voice shrieked. "Ha ha ha ha! FREE! FREE! FREEEEEEEEEEEE!"


"It just went into hyperspace…" Q-Ball looked at the monitor. Everyone looked at Doc.


"Oops," Doc gulped. "I guess my reprogramming worked a little too well huh?"


"Your reprogrammed therapy bear just hijacked an interceptor and took off into outer space!" Walsh shouted. "What do you think we should do?"


"Let it go," Shane suggested. "Maybe it will annoy someone we hate?"


"Not a bad idea," Zach agreed.


"I'm telling you here and now I am not going to be a teddy bear bounty hunter," Shane spoke up. "Let Doc or Buzzwang do it!"


"Bring 'em back dead or alive! Preferably dead!" Bubblehead chirped.


"Someone has hostility issues," One of the bears chirped from inside the box. The other bears agreed with him.


"Okay! I warned you!" Bubblehead flew up and tipped over the box, ejecting the bears. "There's only room in this town for one cute electronic animal sidekick and that's me! And this is what happens to any second rate stooges that tries to cut in on my territory! CHARGE!"


"AAAHHHHH!" The bears screamed as Bubblehead flew around attacking and literally beating the stuffing out of any bear he caught.


"Is it me or has that bird become more aggressive since it started living with Goose?" Q-Ball asked.


"It's not you," Doc remarked. "Should we do something about this before Bubblehead kills them all?"


"Are you kidding? I'm rooting for the bird!" Zach told him. "Get 'em Bubblehead!"


"You know I didn't think I'd ever get Bubblehead trained," Shane grinned as the bears screamed in terror and agony as Bubblehead trashed them. "Oooh! That mark's gonna be hard to get out of the floor."


"Buzzwang I think we can mark this project down as a big fat failure!" Q-Ball groaned.


"MY CIRCUITS!" One bear screamed as Bubblehead tore him to pieces. "OH THE HUMANITY!"


"Why do your projects cost more to clean up after than to build?" Walsh gave Buzzwang a dark look.


"I don't know, Sir," Buzzwang scratched his head. "Maybe it's because…"


"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION YOU BLOCKHEADED ROBOT!" Walsh shouted and pointed to Buzzwang. "BUBBLEHEAD AFTER YOU FINISH WITH THE BEARS GET HIM!"


"Five projects huh?" Shane gave Q-Ball a look. "I can't wait to see what he comes up with for the other four."


"can," Walsh groaned.