And Bubblehead Makes Three
This fanfic by Red Witch exists on the web at the following location(s) and we suggest visiting the following link(s) rather than viewing the material here:
The text here has been included to allow searching for character availability and author recognition. Please note that the text is most likely not formatted and may be hidden by a spoiler tag.
And Bubblehead Makes Three
by Red Witch
Summary: Shane and Niko's married life has one little hiccup neither of them expected. The problem of not getting any sleep with a defective memory bird around.
Bubblehead stole the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger characters. Just a little madness that went through my mind. Niko should have known that marrying a Supertrooper would have caused some problems.
"Wakey, wakey! Eggs and bakey!" Bubblehead the bubble brained memory bird chirped as loud as he could. "Time to rise and shakey!"
"I'm gonna shake you bird if you don't shut up," Shane Gooseman groaned as he lay in bed with his eyes closed. The blond Supertrooper had been 'given' Bubblehead as a 'therapy tool' a few years ago after several of the memory bird's adventures. Since the bird had been dubbed defective for obvious reasons, Commander Walsh thought it would be a good idea if Shane had the bird for theraputic reasons.
Shane often thought the only reason that Bubblehead was given to him was that he was the one most likely to blow him up into little pieces. More than once he was tempted.
"Come on guys! Get up! Seize the day!" Bubblehead danced on the covers.
"I'm gonna seize you by the neck and tie it in a pretzel if you don't shut up," Shane moaned.
"Good morning! Good morning! You slept the whole night through!" Bubblehead sang off key as he danced around on top of the covers. "Now it's time to eat bagels and eggplant stew!"
"Goose," Niko lay next to Shane in the bed, her eyes closed. "Does this bird have to wake us up like this every single morning?"
"No, it's one of the many wonderful free perks you get for living with me!" Bubblehead chirped. "Good morning! Wake up and enjoy the day! Good morning! Get up and let's play! Preferably Monopoly. I like Monopoly. Or Uno. Or that game with all the chutes and ladders. I forget what it's called but it's really fun!"
"Does that answer your question?" Shane groaned as he lay there, eyes closed desperately trying to ignore the dancing memory bird on his bed.
"Do, do, do, do, do, do!" Bubblehead danced around. "I'm a dancing machine baby!"
"Shane…I know being married to a Supertrooper would have some differences and issues that I would need to adjust to," Niko moaned. "But this is where I draw the line."
"Really? This is where you draw the line?" Bubblehead asked as he pointed using his pinkish colored feather wing. "Why not over there? Or there? Oh the line would look lovely by the window!"
"Niko…Let me remind you that having this defective nut job to be my pet was your idea," Shane groaned as he kept his eyes closed. "If you just let me blast him we would not have this problem."
"Oh we can put the line at the end of the bed. Now what color should it be?" Bubblehead looked around. He looked down at his purple lab coat. "How about purple? It would match my outfit perfectly!"
"Technically giving Bubblehead to you was Doc's idea," Niko corrected her husband as she lay there. "I admit I went along with it…"
"You still share the blame," Shane interrupted.
"Oh better yet! Pink and purple! Like my tie!" Bubblehead pointed to his little tie. "See my tie? See my tie! Come on guys wake up and see my tie! It's stylish! I'm a trendsetter! Yeah!"
"Well how was I supposed to know he'd act like this?" Niko asked.
"Uh the fact that I've been telling you what he does to me for nearly two years should have been your first clue," Shane said to her as he opened one eye to look at her. "But no. You wouldn't believe me."
"Well I do now," Niko groaned as she lay there.
"I'm too fashionable for my tie! Too fashionable for my tie! I'm just a fashionable guy!" Bubblehead began to sing and dance around some more. "Oh yeah! I'm grooving now baby!"
"I warned you," Shane sighed. "Did I or did I not warn you?"
"You did," Niko let out a breath.
"Groove. That's a funny word," Bubblehead scratched his head. "I know a lot of funny words. Like orange. Ever notice how orange is both a color and a fruit? Not to mention a shade of spray tan. Speaking of tan, has my feathers been getting darker lately or is it just me? Wait when was the last time I was out in the sun?"
"But did you listen?" Shane asked.
"No…" Niko groaned.
"Are you listening now?" Bubblehead asked.
"I wish I wasn't," Niko said.
"I don't think I've even been outside since the last time I escaped and caused that little twelve car pileup downtown," Bubblehead thought. "Oh wait that was yesterday. Okay yeah then I must have got a tan then."
"I mean did you really think his behavior would change once you moved in?" Shane asked as he closed his eyes.
"The thought had occurred to me," Niko admitted.
"Do we even live near a town?" Bubblehead asked himself. "Well I know I caused some kind of commotion yesterday. It's all the same. Que Sera Sera. And have you seen Sera? Wow! What a body!"
"Well you thought wrong," Shane sighed. "We've been married for nearly a month now and every morning that bird has woken us up."
"Quesadilla! How nice and cheesy!" Bubblehead sang. "It makes stains so easy! Quesadilla! All covered with fleas!"
"If anything I think he's gotten worse," Shane moaned.
"That's because he has two people to annoy instead of one," Niko moaned.
"Are you awake yet? It's time to get up!" Bubblehead said impatiently. "Geeze I've heard of an audience falling asleep on you but this is ridiculous! Don't make me break out my accordion!"
"Niko…" Shane yawned. "Can we count this as an argument and say I won it?"
"Do I even have an accordion?" Bubblehead thought. "Oh well I'm sure I can find something around here that will do the job." He flew out of the bedroom.
"I am willing to agree to that," Niko groaned. "If only to get a few more seconds of sleep."
"Fat chance with Bubblehead around," Shane said.
"What did he do now?" Niko winced.
"Don't know. Don't want to know," Shane winced. "Odds are he broke something."
"Hey Niko you weren't really attached to that priceless vase from that lost alien civilization were you?" Bubblehead called out. "I mean it's still there. It's just a lot smaller. And in a lot of pieces."
"I deserved this didn't I?" Niko moaned. "I should have let you blast Bubblehead."
"You did," Shane said.
"But it's really all Doc's fault," Niko said.
"It is," Shane said. "It's all Doc's fault."
"So that's what happens when you put a can of shaving cream in the microwave!" Bubblehead called out cheerfully. "I thought it would make a lot bigger fire than that!"
"Shane…" Niko said. "Do me a favor?"
"What?" Shane sighed.
"Hit Doc for me," Niko said. "A very painful hit."
"Will do," Shane said. "I'll pencil it in for this morning."
"On second thought I think I'll do it myself," Niko moaned.
"We could hit him together," Shane suggested. "You know? Do it as a couple."
"I'd like that," Niko groaned as she opened her eyes and sat up. "Ugh…I had no idea I could be this tired."
"To be fair Bubblehead did keep us up half the night when he insisted on singing us love songs to get us to go to sleep," Shane yawned and sat up. "Uh Niko, you might want to use the shower first."
"Or we could use it together and save the hot water," Niko purred suggestively.
"Uh no, I think you'd better wash up first," Shane deferred.
"Huh? Why?" Niko was puzzled.
"Uh no reason…" Shane gulped.
"Hey you're up!" Bubblehead flew in. "Niko you look fabulous!"
"Thank you Bubblehead," Niko said.
"That makeover I gave you really did the job! Va Va Va Voom Baby!" Bubblehead chirped as he landed on the bed.
"Makeover? What makeover?" Niko glared at the bird. She got up revealing she was wearing a pink nightgown with no sleeves.
"Oh boy…" Shane winced. He knew this was not going to be good.
Niko turned on the light and saw herself in the mirror. Her face was covered in white powder and she had red lipstick all over her lips and the sides of her cheek. Her eyes were heavily covered in purple eye shadow and had bright pink rouge on her cheek and nose. To top it all off her hair was filled with tiny bows and sticking out all over the place.
"BUBBLEHEAD!" Niko screamed at the top of her lungs.
"Uh oh…" For once some logic managed to make its way into Bubblehead's brain. "Methinks I went a tad too far."
"Ya think?" Shane groaned as he put his hand to his head, indicating he was getting a headache.
"I'LL GIVE YOU A MAKEOVER, BIRD!" Niko shrieked as she chased after Bubblehead. "I'LL PLUCK ALL YOUR FEATHERS OUT AND SEE HOW THAT LOOKS!"
"AAAAAHHH!" Bubblehead flew as fast as his feathers would let him.
"They say after a few years of marriage couples start to think alike," Shane let out a breath as the sounds of his wife and his memory bird destroying their apartment could be heard. "Guess Supertroopers aren't the only ones that know how to adapt fast."
"YOU ARE SO DEAD BUBBLEHEAD!" Niko was heard yelling. "AND SO IS DOC WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!"
"Forget it. I'm going back to sleep," Shane groaned and lay back on the bed. "I'll just pretend what's going on is a nice quiet war zone."