Traash-Page4

	Then they arrive in high command. It’s a large chamber with what looks like the hive’s queen at the end. But not like a sexy queen laying eggs and running stuff. This queen looks like Jabba the bug. Big, ugly, immobile. I was hoping to see Niko reenact Return of the Jedi and wrap a chain around its neck.

	But… it’s surrounded by an army of Traash bug-people just standing in place. An overconfident BrownPants says “I got this” and does his whistle. It backfires. The Traash attack them. Goose gets knocked back by one of them. Then it runs over and bites his leg.

Goose badges up and becomes Traash-Goose! The grossest Goose yet! Meanwhile, Niko is making Kidd whistle in different tones in a trial-and-error kind of way. Now all the Traash are attacking only Goose. But he’s fighting them off. Doc says that the Traash are in for a big surprise when they eat Zachary. That made me laugh for 2 reasons. The obvious image of the Traash breaking their teeth on his bionics. But also because it sounded like some wishful thinking on Doc’s part. Eventually, Niko’s vocal coaching gets Kidd to hit the right note, which paralyzes the Traash.

The team immediately rushes to the controls. Doc has two of his programs run a train on the Traash computer, which closes the doors to the chamber they’re in. Niko lassos Jabba the Bug with a rope. It’s not a chain, but I’ll accept it! At this point, I was overwhelmed by how much this scene reminded me of a certain movie. Not Star Wars, though. Starship Troopers! There’s the scene where they have the “smart bug” tied up and psychic Doogie Houser mentally communicates with it.

Niko does that same thing…only she’ll be using the Mindnet Device. Kidd opens one of the cases they’re carrying to reveal a fishbowl helmet…with handlebars! No, not Walsh. The freaking helmet actually has handlebars on it! Exactly how violent is this Mindlink thing she’s about to do? She puts it on. And Zach attaches the bowling trophy to the front of the device. And then he says something to the effect of, “Better you than me!” Douche. Niko activates the device and begins the Mindlink.

	Goose says he hears something and suddenly a door opens and a giant tank bug walks in followed by an army of Traash bug-people. Goose tells Zach to hit it with a Thunderbolt. And he tells Kidd to start puckering.

So Zach KILLS the tank bug! Then… AFTER it’s already been killed, Kidd decides to start his whistle, paralyzing the remainder of the bug army. Seems like a waste of a perfectly good tank bug.

	Then Niko tells Jabba via Mindlink: “I think peace is a good idea. You should too. Because if you don’t, we’ll kick your thoraxes, but good.” Like Niko wasn’t messing around. Peace or die! So Jabba says “Well…I guess it’s peace, then.” And then does a peace howl that the bug army imitates. Then Kidd and the Rangers join in.

Cut to the Comanche: Niko compliments Kidd on a good day’s work. Kidd says he thinks he lost weight. Yeah, he did. 15 pounds way in the beginning of the episode! Squeegee is back to sitting on Kidds shoulder and he says “You’re still tubby!” Double Dutch suggests that Zach recruit Kidd to be a Galaxy Ranger. And Doc says, “Oh hellllll no!” And Da da da daaaa da. OK, Reader. That was “Traash”.

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OT Thought

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Quite the wide variations on how Doc looks sometimes, but the bridge shot on Ranger-1 is the most bizarre