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Shield of Ignorance

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The thunder grew louder and louder, an irritating "hissss" screamed through the cockpit of the little life-probe when more and more atmosphere molecules hit its surface. The temperature was increasing but not to dangerous levels. The planetary surface came nearer, making clearer its structures. I activated the brake-jets and pulled the impact shields to maximum. "Collision alert"...
Slowly my environment became clearer. A great somehow sticky trabant covered the land with pale yellow light. I remembered: I was in the planet's shadow, in the outermost edge in the contra direction of the planetary rotation on its biggest continent in the northern hemisphere. I didn't know, how long I had been unconscious. I felt warm slimy liquid on my chin, dropping down onto my chest - blood. I tried to stop it by pressing one of the torn-off bolsters on the wound. During the time I sat there I thought about what was known about this world in the external sphere of the galaxy: catalogue number: 0-1743-3; category: m-bios; dominant lifeform: humanoids type D (closely to mine, did I have a chance?); civilization type: j-t - that meant: quasi intelligent, aggressive, emotional, and technically ambitioned, a young species without primary contact (Ow Sharra - no chance to get a contact back to my own people!). The regulations about crash downs on undeveloped planets cruised my mind - no technological evidences, no interference in development and culture, no contact to planetary lifeforms if possible - and you ought to survive it! Sometimes these regulations were more than only cynical... but they are clear: no technological evidences for our existence...
I didn't try to get to know something about the atmosphere and the biological environment around my probe. If I couldn't live in it, it was over anyhow... I desactivated the stasis-field and stripped off the safety belts then I ran on the self destruction cyclus and opened the cockpit. If the atmosphere was poisonous my body would be destroyed like the ship in the tindering - no noise, no light, only grey ash that would spread by wind all over the planet... I got off the ship. No reaction. My lungs seemed to accept the planet's atmosphere, but it stank. Industrial pollution, said my mind. I coughed but I had to get away from the probe, stumbling I reached for one of the big plants around. I didn't rescue anything out of the ship - regulations - no evidences for our existence! Behind me, the little life-probe, that saved my life and exposed me on this planet, collapsed loudless to a little clump of grey ash. I was coughing but alive. I remembered an old device: "If only one is alive the mission isn't lost." But what if this one himself is lost?...
I left the place in northern direction. A short time before the impact I noticed lights there. I had to find out what these creatures, their appearance, and their behaviour were like. If the similarity between this species and my own was great enough I maybe could survive there without being myself an evidence for extra planetary lifeforms. If not...
More than a dozen planetary cycles have come and gone since this happened. I retained a small scar under my chin and some reminiscences from the crash down, but nothing more serious. I'm alive. The mission is still unlost for me. But for the others... I never returned to the place where I landed. I gave up hope to be found here long time ago and now I'm sitting here at a little desk working with one of the primitive instruments they call computers.
I've learned a lot about the planet and its species in all the time that's gone. I know, the environment's pollution is increasing. I feel it. It's harder to breathe and not to cough. I yearn for our medical facilities and for the clean atmosphere of the world where I was born. But both is thousands of lightyears away. I don't know how long I can resist this pollution here and now I write down what I know about all what has happened. Irrelevant if regulations say not to do so. I'm alone!
Sometimes I tried to get closer contact to some of the creatures living here in the city but there's everytime the danger to be recognized as an extra planetarian. They are very aggressive towards strangers, even strangers of their own species. Their news are full of war and battle that take place all over the planet, because they appearing strange to each other, and I'm more a stranger than anyone else on this planet is. I don't want to know what they will do to me if they discover my real identity.
I'm frightened but I'm alive. I understand what happens here and it is cruel to know about and to be unable to change it. I'm watching the self destruction of a species: Increasing industrial pollution, growth of criminal activities and battles, the unorganized collapses of political systems; the list of indicators for such a development is much longer. I was a member of the forces which job it was to recognize and to prevent such developments whereever they were, but I can't help here. I'm trapped like its creatures on this dusty dirty planet under a yellow sun, the light of which is hurting my eyes. I wish to be at home near my friends, in the arms of my lover... But I'm here and I'm starting to envy these creatures for their shield of ignorance...
...for mankind's shield of ignorance.....
A. Kniggendorf, Hildesheim 1992-03-08


To say something about my story:
I wrote it in march 1992(!) as part of an English class test (got an A for the story and a lot of worried looks for my view on world and people). And I don't say at all that the described planet is the Earth of today or the very near future (though it is obviously the used picture). The only line with a clear reference to Earth is the last one:
"...these creatures for their shield of ignorance... ...for mankind's shield of ignorance...."
Please note, that I refused to insert a clear relation between the two shields. They can be the same, or they can also be two different ones which are simply quite similar to each other (As an explanation: mankind's ignorance of today seems to be exact the same than in the GR future - think of all the idiots traveling to the rock concert within reach of Tortuna!) and the trapped character named the first one with the known one of mankind. In 1992 were a very intensive discussion about possible parallel cultural developments and I think my story was influenced a lot by this discussion...
I for myself never made a clear decision if this happens to a GR character or not. If I made one I usually changed it only hours later. Therefore I just didn't want to make that decision for the readers.
I hope, I haven't confused to many of you.