Somewhere buried in catnip is the disclaimer saying I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters. Here's another demented adventure from my demented mind. This one is really demented folks. I just had to add a little spoof from another 80's cartoon.
"This is Ranger One approaching Leonoid," Zach spoke into the communications system as the Galaxy Rangers approached a large jungle planet. "Requesting permission to land."
"Request granted Ranger One," a feline voice purred. "Please follow coordinates to landing strip seven."
"Roger," Zach spoke. "Well there it is, Planet Leonoid."
"Isn't Leonoid Nimrod's home planet?" Shane asked.
"Yeah him and his new little playmate Reggit have been mostly lying low since the Po-Atlantis incident," Doc nodded.
"This is a very important diplomatic mission," Waldo spoke. He was also on the ship. "If Leonoid joins the League of Planets we will have a very powerful ally against the Queen of the Crown. Their planetary shields are just as powerful as our Andorian ones, maybe even more."
"Leonoid has been fighting the Crown Empire for decades," Niko spoke. "But they are a very proud race and rarely seek help from outsiders."
"Something big must have happened for them to call this emergency diplomatic meeting," Zach nodded. "And I have a feeling the Queen of the Crown is involved."
"It's an unusual society," Niko smiled. "Even though it has a king the females do all the ruling on that planet."
"Wonderful," Doc rolled his eyes. "The ladies will take one look at the Doctor and I'll be like catnip to them."
"Try to control yourself Doc," Niko gave him a look. "The females on that planet have been known to accidentally shred their mates in moments of passion."
"Yikes," Doc gulped. "I am just too handsome for my own good. Don't laugh Gooseman. You'd probably be considered pâté down there."
"Can the comedy Doc," Zach grunted. "We have a mission to do."
Soon the Galaxy Rangers found themselves in a large throne room. Greeting them were three cat people. There was a large muscular lion man with a mane of red hair with white on the sides. He was wearing a regal brown and gold outfit with a ceremonial headdress on his head. On both sides were two females. One was a lioness with a short mane of red hair and brown and gold uniform. The other had leopard spots along her face and body and had a long blond main. She wore an elegant blue dress with gold jewelry.
"I am Olion," The Regal Lion man spoke. "Regent of Leonoid. My daughters Prime Minister Tarachee and General Alynxis, head of the royal army." He indicated the leopard woman first and the lioness second.
"It is a pleasure to meet you," Zach bowed respectfully.
"We have heard much about your bravery Galaxy Rangers," Tarachee nodded respectfully. "Unfortunately I fear you know our brother too well."
"Nimrod?" Doc raised an eyebrow.
"Don't remind us!" Alynxis grunted. "Even for a male he was always too flighty! And all the morals of an alley cat."
"Oh don't be so sexist Alynxis," Tarachee rolled her eyes.
"Oh right, this from the wife of that male libber," Alynxis groaned. "It's bad enough they run businesses and enlist in the army now instead of staying in the bedroom and kitchen where they belong! But now you want them to run for political offices? What's next? A male Prime Minister?"
Alynxis gave the rangers a look. "Uh no offense, I understand the males of your species are reasonably intelligent. It's just most of our males are complete idiots! Look at Nimrod!"
"I wish you would not. He is the reason we are in this mess!" Olion grunted.
"What did he do this time?" Zach asked.
"He stole a sacred relic from one of our temples," Olion sighed. "The Lightning Sword of Lions."
"Please tell me this sword is not some kind of ultimate weapon," Doc groaned.
"It is a powerful weapon," Tarachee sighed. "Unfortunately it is also a key to an even more powerful weapon!"
"And you don't want the Queen to get this weapon," Niko guessed.
"Exactly," Olion nodded. "You see every six hundred years the Lightning Sword is able to activate a wormhole on one of our moons called in the language of our ancestors Caslirhriarrnrleenarrneenanrenrrreenndeeneerarrrrerrrrrr."
"In your language it means 'Third Earth Like Moon With A Lot Of Weirdoes On It," Alynxis explained. "We just call it Three EM for short."
"In the days of our great ancestors terrible monsters lived there and often invaded Leonoid," Olion showed them murals on the wall of cat warriors fighting terrible monsters. "They were controlled by an evil being named Ramamum."
"He looks like Scarecrow's brother!" Shane scoffed at the picture. "Only slightly better looking."
"Eventually Ramamum was defeated and destroyed," Olion said. "But not before his most powerful monster Muttamar was sealed away in a wormhole by the power of the Lightning Sword. You see Muttamar was the source of Ramamum's power."
"Actually according to legend the beast accidentally swallowed it," Tarachee explained. "Our ancestors saw a chance and they took it."
"According to our scientists the wormhole can only be unlocked due to some kind of harmonic convergence with the Cat's Eye Star and all the planets in our solar system. This event happens every six hundred years," Olion said. "So far we've been able to keep the wormhole from being unlocked for 2,400 years."
"But our dear little brother Nimrod decided to break our winning streak!" Alynxis snapped.
"Don't tell me! Let me guess," Shane held up his hand. "This six hundred year event is pretty soon, am I right?"
"Tomorrow afternoon to be precise," Olion sighed. "And to further complicate matters our law dictates that only royal heirs are allowed to deal with the Lightning Sword so we can't use the army or any of our people to retrieve it."
"This is where you come in," Tarachee explained. "There is a loophole saying that outsiders can assist a royal member of the family if they have proven to be brave warriors."
"That's why I'm accompanying you on your journey," Alynxis nodded. "As well as my father."
"It's time I had it out with that boy once and for all!" Olion snapped.
"If we do not stop Nimrod from ascertaining this power, who knows what damage he could do?" Waldo nodded.
"Not to mention he will be a tempting target for the Queen," Niko realized.
"We have to get to Three EM right away before that happens!" Zach nodded.
"I shall remain behind with Prime Minister Tarachee and go over alliance strategies just in case the plan fails," Waldo said. "Not that I don't have the utmost confidence in the Galaxy Rangers…"
"But it is always better to be prepared," Tarachee agreed. "Plus this is a good opportunity for better dialog with the League of Planets since our last ambassador went insane and turned traitor."
"Then lets go," Zach agreed. "Galaxy Rangers! Ho!"
"Something about all this sounds so familiar," Doc scratched his head. "But I just can't place it."
"Behold my triumph!" Nimrod the Cat strutted around showing off the Lightning Sword in a large control room inside a huge pyramid. Instead of his usual colorful attire he was wearing a one piece blue bodysuit with an exposed midriff, really short shorts and blue boots with a gold belt.
"This should show my stuck up siblings who is truly the greatest cat in the family!" Nimrod purred. "Not to mention how great I look in this getup!"
"Okay that outfit is too gay even for me," Reggit his white tiger man lover did a double take.
"It is not gay!" Nimrod snapped. "It shows my macho side!"
"Exactly," Reggit groaned.
"This is a traditional Leonoid warrior garment!" Nimrod told him.
"Didn't that traditional warrior garment have pants?" Reggit asked.
"Yeah but they were ugly and didn't show off my legs," Nimrod said. Just then an alarm sounded. "What now?"
"Someone's knocking on our door,' Reggit looked at the scanner. "It's a Crown destroyer!"
"What? The Queen of the Crown? What's she doing here?" Nimrod shouted.
"You're asking me?" Reggit snapped at him. "Unless…somehow she found out about the sword!"
"How could she find out about the sword! Only someone in the royal family on Leonoid would know about that!" Nimrod asked.
"She must have had a spy on Leonoid or something!" Reggit snapped. "It's the only explanation because you only told me and I never told anyone…"
"Well actually I did kind of brag about it in the Stars Bar and Grill on Tortuna," Nimrod remembered. "Remember you wanted me to do some of the errands because you were recovering from that hangover…"
"Because you got me drunk!" Reggit snapped. "Wait a second…The Stars Bar and Grill on Tortuna? Who were you talking to there?"
"Nobody, just Lazarus Slade," Nimrod said. Reggit gave him an incredulous look. "Look we just happened to run into each other and he was bragging about his latest plot to overthrow BETA and I said how stupid all his other plots were. Then he said how stupid all of my other plots were and one thing led to another and the next thing I knew we were both telling each other our secret plots and in all fairness I think I won that argument!"
"Let me see if I get this straight," Reggit closed his eyes, indicating he had a migraine. "You told Lazarus Slade, the Queen of the Crown's biggest suck up that you were going to get your hands on some kind of cosmic power that could help you take over a planet?"
"Oops," Nimrod blinked. "That wasn't very smart of me was it?"
"You mother should have named you Nitwit instead of Nimrod!" Reggit hit him on the head. "Look what you got us into! Now they're hailing us! What are we gonna do?"
"Pretend we're not home?" Nimrod gulped.
Reggit thought for a second. "It's worth a try!"
"Okay, okay play along and pretend we're an answering machine!" Nimrod turned on only the voice communications. "Hello there Sports Fans! You've reached the secret headquarters of Nimrod the Cat…"
"And Reggit the Tiger!" Reggit added.
"We're not in right now which means we're either out on the town…" Nimrod went on.
"Or having sex!" Reggit said playfully.
"Oh you tease!" Nimrod camped it up. "Ooh! Not so rough!"
"So leave a message at the beep! And we'll get back to you soon!" Reggit purred.
"BEEP!" Reggit and Nimrod said at the same time and held their breath.
"KNOCK IT OFF YOU IDIOTS! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!" The Queen of the Crown's voice was heard. "YOU HAVE TWO SECONDS TO TURN ON THE VIDPHONE AND CONTACT US OR I WILL BLOW YOU UP INTO TINY BITS! ONE…"
"Okay! Okay! We're here! We're right here!" Nimrod screamed like a little girl as he turned on the view screen. He saw Slade and a slaver lord with the face of the Queen of the Crown before him.
Unfortunately for them, they could also see him. "Oh dear lord they were having sex!" Slade gulped as he got a good look at what there was of Nimrod's outfit.
"Nimrod I uh…Hate to interrupt your uh…" The Queen looked visibly disturbed. "Fun…But I wanted to speak to you about the sword and this ultimate power you are planning to acquire. Oh for crying out loud next time I will just leave a message at the beep!"
"I guess all those fears I had of Nimrod stealing you away were unfounded?" Slade chuckled nervously.
"I believe I am going to be violently ill…" The Queen groaned.
"Look Queenie," Nimrod said. "Only a member of the royal family can open this wormhole and get the ultimate power! So…"
The Queen gave him a dark look. "So why not share it with you after I get it?" Nimrod gulped.
The alarm beeped again. "Oh look, someone else is approaching," Reggit looked at the sensors. "Oh what a surprise! It's the Galaxy Rangers! What did you run into one of them at the bar and blab to them too?"
"Obviously dear old Dad went running to them for help!" Nimrod snapped. "It figures! Why waste time dealing with your youngest son when you could have someone else do it for you?"
"He has some Daddy issues," Reggit explained.
"Who doesn't?" Slade snorted.
"This is just so typical of him! I mean he never paid any attention to me as a child!" Nimrod whined. "He had plenty of time to hang around with all my other brothers and sisters and cousins and even my friends but never me! He couldn't even remember my name until I was six and that was only because of a stupid little accident! Which was totally not my fault! I was framed! I was set up to fail! My father set me up to fail because he didn't love me! WAAHHHHHHHHH!"
"Ohhh," Slade blanched. "Issues. I got it."
"Send out our ships and blast those rangers out of the sky!" The Queen ordered.
"Daddy…." Nimrod whined as he started to suck his thumb.
"And if there's a psychiatrist on board send for him too," The Queen groaned. "Or anyone who's read a psychiatric book!"
"Not the thumb sucking again," Reggit rolled his eyes. "I hate it when he gets like this! I'd better get the binky out."
"I don't even want to know what that is…" The Queen of the Crown winced. "Ugh! Why am I constantly surrounded by idiots?"
Meanwhile several Crown interceptors had started firing on Ranger One. "They didn't waste any time did they?" Shane grunted as he opened fire on the enemy ships.
He managed to hit six of them before one hit the Ranger One. "We're hit!" Niko shouted.
"Hang on!" Zach shouted as he piloted the ship. "I'm gonna try to bring her in for a landing!"
Zach managed to pilot the ship into the jungle where they crash landed. "Everyone all right?" Zach called out.
"I'm fine," Olion shook his head.
"Yeah we're all kind of used to this crashing thing," Doc groaned.
"Okay you can't blame me for crashing the ship this time," Shane remarked.
"You let them shoot us down!" Alynxis snapped.
"There were seven Crown interceptors! I got six of them!" Shane snapped. "What do you want from me? Even with my genetically enhanced reflexes I'm not perfect!"
"We'd better get moving," Zach said. "Those Crown Agents will be looking for us!" He and the others got out of the ship. "Now we have to find where Nimrod is."
"He'll be at the Pyramid of Darkness and Doom where the wormhole is stationed," Olion said.
"And where is this charming Pyramid of Darkness?" Doc asked. Then he noticed a huge pyramid only several feet away from him. "That'll work."
On top of the pyramid there was a large opening where a skylight was shown. A large star could be seen coming into view through it. "It's almost time," Reggit looked at it.
The two cat men, Slade, the queen through her Slaver Lord and dozens of Crown Soldiers were waiting for the Cat's Eye Star to come into place. "Soon! Soon I Nimrod will break the seal of the heavens, open the wormhole and get the power! I will have the power!" Nimrod posed with his sword, still wearing his 'traditional' garment.
"Why is he wearing such a gay outfit?" Slade whispered to Reggit.
"IT IS NOT A GAY OUTFIT!" Nimrod shouted. "IT'S ROYAL AND MANLY!" He started to pose dramatically with his sword.
"Are you absolutely sure he's the only one who can do this?" The Queen looked at Reggit using her slaver lord.
"Unfortunately, yes," Reggit sighed.
"Wonderful…" The Queen sighed. "Can we get this over with? I know somehow the Galaxy Rangers survived the crash and are making their way here!"
"Don't worry your Highness," Nimrod waved. "This pyramid is filled with booby traps, perfect to catch those boobs!"
"Don't say it!" Reggit warned Slade who was going to say something connected to Nimrod's outfit. "I know it's tempting but let it slide."
"As I was saying I have clever traps within traps that will astound and confuse the Galaxy Rangers and keep them safely out of reach of us until after the wormhole has opened!" Nimrod said proudly.
"Unless they decide to bypass all your clever traps by BLOWING UP THE SIDE OF THE PYRAMID!" The Queen shouted as the Galaxy Rangers burst into the room. "GET THEM!"
"Oh look Daddy's here," Reggit rolled his eyes. "This is going to be fun!"
"Galaxy Rangers Ho-Ly cow what the devil is Nimrod wearing?" Zach did a double take as they rushed in.
"We'll take care of my brother!" Alynxis said. "You guys handle the crown agents!"
"I think we can do that," Zach powered up his thunderbolt again and hit several crown agents with it. This created a path for the cat people to get to Nimrod.
"GET THEM! GET THEM!" The Queen shouted through her Slaver Lord. "SLADE! GET THEM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Uh planning a strategic counterattack," Slade gulped as he hid behind some artwork.
"You are going to get a strategic kick in the pants if you don't do something!" The Queen roared.
Meanwhile Olion and his daughter had managed to make their way to Nimrod and his boyfriend. "Great! I should have known you two would have shown up! You are always trying to run my moments!" Nimrod prepared to fight with a sword.
"You know that traditional Leonoid outfit has pants that go with it?" Alynxis blinked. She and her father had brandished swords as well.
"Since when are you the fashion police?" Nimrod snapped.
Meanwhile the Crown soldiers were having a fierce battle with the Galaxy Rangers. "No matter where I go someone is always shooting at me!" Doc grumbled.
"Maybe they know you?" Shane teased before he was hit by laser fire. He managed to touch his badge and turned into a metallic being and easily began to tear apart the army of Crown Agents.
"Blast them! No you fool! Watch out for that psychic's telekinetic attack!" The Queen roared to her troops. "SLADE DO SOMETHING!"
"Uh you know it's the funniest thing," Slade gulped as he watched the Galaxy Rangers successfully fight off the crown troops. "My blaster isn't working! I could have sworn I charged it this morning!"
"THAT IS THE LAMEST EXCUSE I EVER HEARD YOU COWARD!" The Queen roared. "Crown ship! This is the Queen calling! We need backup! Backup now!"
While that battle was going on a very different kind of fight was happening among the cat people. They had forgotten about their swords and were bickering non stop.
"Nimrod I know you know nothing about honor and duty to the crown but even I never imagined you would do anything as childish and insane as this!" Olion shouted. "You have brought shame upon the House of the Cats!"
"Here we go!" Nimrod threw up his hands. "The old song and dance about honor and duty! Honor and duty! I heard that lousy speech every day of my life until I left home! For seventeen years I put up with all that honor and duty crap…"
"Honor and duty is not crap!" Olion roared. "It is the duty for our family to rule wisely and well…"
"Rule? Are you kidding me? Leonoid has been a democratically elected parliament for about three hundred years!" Nimrod snapped. "Only the girls have to do any real work in politics! All the men have to do is beget a few dozen heirs and open shopping malls!"
"The crown is more than that!" Olion snapped. "You are forgetting about the grand balls and cocktail parties. And head all our people's important rituals which by the way you have ruined more than your share of!"
"I knew it! I knew it! You never forgave me for that did you?" Nimrod snapped. "I accidentally break one lousy little cup…"
"The Chalice of Courage was not a lousy little cup!" Olion yelled. "It was a crystal heirloom from the time of King Clawdor! You were entrusted to keep it safe during the Ceremony of Remembrance and you broke it!"
"I WAS SIX YEARS OLD!" Nimrod snapped. "Who gives a six year old a priceless antique crystal chalice to hold for an hour? Seriously! You had to know something was going to happen!"
"None of your brothers had any trouble with it!" Olion yelled. "In fact your eldest brother Kimba was a year younger than you were when he first held the chalice!"
"Here we go again! Kimba! Kimba! Kimba!" Nimrod shouted. "All you ever talk about is how wonderful he is! Kimba did this! Kimba did that! Kimba is the bestest royal heir in the history of the world! Kimba can climb tall buildings and leap over them in a single bound! Kimba ran the fifty kilometer mile marathon in twelve seconds when he was three years old! I am not my brother!"
"I figured that out a long time ago!" Olion yelled. "I tried to overlook your flaws as you were growing up but every chance you had you blew and flaunted your failure in my face!"
"Since when did you ever pay attention to me?" Nimrod snapped. "You never went to any of my dance recitals or magic shows or any over event I was a part of!"
"I have seven wives and fifteen children as well as I'm the ruler of an entire planet! It's kind of hard to schedule everything!" Olion snapped.
"You didn't seem to have a problem scheduling in my third cousin twice removed Katacor's surprise party he threw for himself!" Nimrod snapped. "Oh wait, there was free alcohol there! That explains it all!"
"I would not play the alcohol card if I were you," Olion snarled.
"Why not?" Nimrod snapped.
"Your sister Lynxaria's wedding," Olion counted off on his claws. "Your brother Gartigh's wedding. The Amalazian Ambassador's ball. The Galarax's Ambassador's ball…"
"So I got drunk a couple of times as a kid," Nimrod waved his hand.
"Your cousin Jaga's Coming of Age ceremony," Olion kept counting. "Your cousin Mypuma's dance recital, your aunt Lilian's funeral where you fell into the open grave! The annual Harvest Ball Dance three years in a row! Your sixteenth birthday! My fiftieth birthday!...Practically every birthday the royal family has ever seen since you turned fifteen!"
"Okay I got a little out of control on special occasions," Nimrod went on.
"The time you got your sophomore class drunk during third period," Olion went on. "The yarn ball game where you mooned everyone in the stands! The time you stole my limo and drove it backwards on the freeway!"
"And let's not forget all your wonderful performances during every family reunion and dinner," Alynxis snapped. "You're just like your mother! A scheming self absorbed parasite that never did an ounce of work a day in her life!"
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Nimrod sniffed.
"Little wonder that out of all the wives I had she's the only one I divorced!" Olion snapped. "The only reason I did marry her and pay her off is because of you!"
"I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN!" Nimrod screamed.
"IF YOUR MOTHER HADN'T GOTTEN ME DRUNK ON CATNIP YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN!" Olion roared.
"Uh excuse me," Reggit chimed in, "I hate to barge in on this private family moment but the Cat's Eye Star is about to fall into phase. Just thought you might want to get on that now unless you want to wait another six hundred years."
"Oh right," Nimrod blinked. "Almost forgot about that."
"I am going to…" Alynxis raised her sword but to her surprise it was blasted out of her hand.
"Too slow," Reggit also used a blaster to blast Olion's weapon away as well. "See Nimrod? I told you all that target practice would come in handy."
"Why are you helping him?" Alynxis shouted at Reggit. "You were a respected ambassador and you threw it all away for this idiot?"
"I can't help it," Reggit shrugged. "He's really cute and good in bed."
"Too much information here," Slade winced as he overheard the conversation.
"Shut up Slade! At least someone around here has a brain cell to do something right around here!" The Queen snapped. 'The Cat's Eye Star is in position!"
"NO!" Niko shouted.
"And now the moment of my triumph! Lightning! Lightning! Lightning Cat YO!" Nimrod waved the sword around. Nothing happened. "Uh Lightning Cat? Yo! Lightning Cat? Yoo Hoo? Here Kitty Kitty! Will you work you stupid thing? Work damn it! Work!"
"Having trouble?" Reggit sighed.
"I don't get it! I said the right words!" Nimrod tried banging the sword on the ground. "Maybe there's an on switch or something? Yo! Lightning Cat! Get out here!"
"Oh for crying out loud…" The Queen groaned. "I am so glad I am not here in person for this!"
"Lightning cat come on!" Nimrod banged the sword some more. "I don't get it. Why isn't it working?"
"That's because although you are of royal blood there is nothing noble about you!" Olion snapped and with a swift move grabbed the sword. "GIVE ME THAT!"
"Yes!" Doc cheered.
"THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT! LIGHTNING CAT YOOOOOOOOOOO!" Olion roared. The sword glowed fiercely as he held up the sword.
"Oh no…" Doc winced as a bright light lit up the pyramid.
"Way to go Father," Alynxis groaned.
"Oops," Olion blinked at the giant wormhole opening behind him.
"Now who's the screw up?" Nimrod taunted.
"You little brat! You tricked me!" Olion snapped.
"Tricked you? I wish! You just couldn't resist showing off…" Nimrod shouted.
"Uh excuse me again," Reggit pointed to the wormhole. "Big giant monster coming through!"
"Uh oh…" A Crown Agent gulped. "This is not good."
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
"Rangers be ready for anything!" Zach prepared his blaster.
"Okay I was not prepared for that!" Zach did a double take. A huge dog like creature with withered antlers on its head staggered out of the wormhole. It was brown and covered with wrinkles and it had a very long beard.
"Hello…" The Creature yawned, revealing that it didn't have any teeth. "Snarfle…Does anybody have any soggy biscuits? I'm hungry."
"This is the terror of Leonoid?" Zach did a double take.
"Well it has been two thousand and four hundred years since it was last seen," Niko blinked.
"Oh my aching paws," The Elderly Creature shivered. "Rain's coming."
"According to my sensors in my eye there's nothing magical or powerful about this thing at all!" Slade yelled. "Except maybe it's breath!"
"Uh excuse me but didn't you swallow some kind of ultimate power thingy?" Reggit asked the creature.
"The Crystal of Ahnk? Oh yeah I almost forgot about that, snarfle…" The creature coughed. "I don't have it any more. It passed through me about a couple thousand centuries ago. It's back there somewhere."
"Well what are you waiting for?" Slade shoved two Crown Agents into the wormhole. "GET IT!"
Almost immediately after he did the wormhole closed up after them. "WHAT?" The Queen yelled.
"Oh yeah I forgot," Olion coughed. "The wormhole only opens for about a minute once every six hundred years. Now it's closed again until next time."
"Leaving us with this?" Alynxis looked at the beast.
"Something tells me your planet's legends were slightly exaggerated," Doc blinked.
"Slightly exaggerated?" Nimrod yelled. "I've seen scarier things in my linen closet!"
"Let me see if I get this straight," The Queen growled. "I lose several Crown fighters and agents as well as a few night's sleep due to the nightmares I am going to get with the image of Nimrod prancing about in that ridiculous get up for this?"
"You also lost a Slaver Lord," Shane smirked.
"A Slaver Lord? What do you mean a Slaver…?" The Queen blinked just before Shane shot at her and destroyed the crystal. The Slaver Lord disintegrated with a scream.
"She is so not going to be happy with me when I get home," Slade sighed.
"Something tells me she's not exactly going to be thrilled with us either," Reggit warned. "So perhaps we should all go on vacation together somewhere warm and full of alcohol?"
Nimrod dodged a laser blast from Shane. "And not full of Galaxy Rangers wanting to nail our hides!"
"You really expect me to go anywhere with you freaks?" Slade snapped.
"We'll buy the drinks when we get there," Nimrod said.
"Let's roll!" Slade agreed as they ran for their lives. A few Crown Agents put up a futile resistance but were easily subdued as the rest of them fled for their lives.
"Well the uh, evil menace has been subdued," Zach looked at the elderly creature who was now licking a stray Crown Agent trapped between it's paws. "And the wormhole is closed for another six hundred years."
"Oh man I got slobber all over me!" The Crown Agent whined.
"I want to thank you Galaxy Rangers for your assistance," Olion coughed.
"Yes if not for them you would not have been here to open the gate!" Alynxis snapped at her father.
"I said I was sorry," Olion whined.
"Anyway we do appreciate this," Alynxis sighed. "At least we got the sword back even if my idiot brother got away."
"Trust me, I know how you feel," Shane grumbled. "Wait what about those two Crown Agents? They could find that ultimate power and…"
"And it won't do them any good until the next time the Cat's Eye Star comes into position six hundred years from now," Alynxis told him. "Unless…How long do Crown Agents live anyway?"
"I don't think they last too long if that guy is any indication," Doc pointed to the sputtering Crown Agent being used as some kind of popsicle by the beast. It already had a broken arm and sparks were coming out of its head.
"So we'll write a note to the next generation or so warning them to watch out for anything weird the next time this happens," Olion shrugged.
"Are you suggesting this was normal?" Shane asked. "And what about that guy?" He pointed to the beast.
"We'll take him home with us and put him in the royal zoo," Olion shrugged. "We needed a new attraction ever since that incident with Nimrod, the fireworks and the ape exhibit."
"We don't want to know do we?" Niko asked.
"No you do not," Alynxis sighed.
Meanwhile on the other side of the wormhole…
"The wormhole has been closed!" The First Crown Agent gasped.
"Never mind that! We know that that power crystal is here…" The Second Crown Agent did a double take. There were huge piles of monster droppings all over the place. "Somewhere. In there."
"Oy vey…" The First Crown Agent groaned. "This could take a while."