Buzzwang Verses Bubblehead
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Buzzwang Verses Bubblehead
by Red Witch
Rated: K+
Summary: It's a clash of mechanical minds. Who will win? Who do you think?
Somehow Bubblehead has taken off with the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters. Just a mad little drabble from my mad little brain.
"Hartford this is an order!" Zach shouted. "I expect you to follow it or else you'll be on report!"
"Go ahead! No court martial will convict me!" Doc snapped. "I am not going to do it!"
"Oh yes you are!" Zach said.
"No I'm not!" Doc said defiantly. "You are the commanding officer, you do it!"
"Are you insane? No way!" Zach snapped. "I am not doing it!"
"Well I am not doing it," Doc folded his arms.
"I'm not doing it," Zach said. "So you have to do it!"
"I am not doing it!" Doc snapped. "You do it!"
"So which one of you is taking me home with you?" Bubblehead looked at the two men.
"HE IS!" Both Galaxy Rangers pointed at each other. "NO I'M NOT! YOU ARE! NO YOU ARE! YOU ARE!"
"What's going on?" Buzzwang walked in. "Rangers Foxx and Hartford I could hear you arguing down the hallway."
"Goose is still away and Commander Walsh wants one of us to baby sit Bubblehead tonight," Zach explained.
"Actually I believe his exact words were 'Get this electronic feather duster out of my face or else I am going to…'" Doc began. "On second thought I won't tell you his exact words."
"The drain pipes connected to spaz valve!" Bubblehead sang. "The spaz valve's connected to the sock drawer! Come on everybody! Sing along!"
"As you can imagine neither one of us is looking forward to spending the night with Bubblehead," Zach groaned. "So Doc you are going to do it! That is an order from your commanding officer!"
"This is abuse of power clear and simple and I will fight it in any court!" Doc snapped.
"Come on guys make up my mind!" Bubblehead chirped. "Who's taking me?"
"HE IS!" Both Doc and Zach pointed at each other.
"Look there is a very simple way of solving this problem," Buzzwang said. "Bubblehead, who do you want to go home with?"
"Marie Osmond! She's a hottie! Rrarrow!" Bubblehead said enthusiastically.
"She's…not exactly available Bubblehead…" Zach let out a breath. "Who's your second choice?"
"King Baba Louie the Fourteenth!" Bubblehead chirped. "If he's not available I'll hang with Miss Universe!"
"Okay let's narrow this down a bit…" Zach sighed. "Bubblehead who in this room do you want to go home with?"
"Buzzwang!" Bubblehead chirped.
"Good idea! He's all yours Buzzwang!" Doc quickly picked up the memory bird and put it in his hands. "Have fun!"
"Me? But I…I…" Buzzwang sputtered.
"Come on Zach let's leave the two of them alone," Doc grabbed Zach by the arm to leave the room as fast as they could.
"Doc you really think this is a good idea?" Zach asked.
"Do you want to take him home?" Doc asked.
"You have a point," Zach agreed. "Buzzwang will be fine."
"Better him than us," Doc nodded as they left the room.
"Oh dear," Buzzwang looked at his fellow mechanical companion. "Well I suppose this should not be so bad. I suppose as a fellow mechanical life form I am best qualified to supervise you until Ranger Gooseman returns. What do you say that the two of us engage in spirited conversations about the latest advancements in electro positron technology?"
"You're a real tool aren't you?" Bubblehead narrowed his eyes.
"I am more than a tool," Buzzwang huffed. "I am a state of the art android as well as a certified Galaxy Ranger."
"Yeah that's what I thought," Bubblehead quipped. "Staying with you is gonna be a blast isn't it?"
"I don't think that we are going to deal with any explosives," Buzzwang said.
"Only if we're lucky," Bubblehead quipped. "Say just out of curiosity as one mechanical marvel to another is your personality chip in your front components or your back?"
"Well technically my chip is in my head but there is a back up system for all my functions in my lower extremities in the back," Buzzwang told him. "Actually now that I think about it I use that back up chip quite a number of times."
"That explains a lot," Bubblehead came up with an idea. "Can I sit on your shoulder?"
"Of course you may," Buzzwang said. Bubblehead did so. "You know this is going to be fun. You and I can….WWWAAAKKA A WWAKKKAAAAA!" Buzzwang screeched as Bubblehead poked his beak into the side of his head. He had found a small port where Buzzwang often downloaded data.
"Let's see if I can give your personality a little tune up!" Bubblehead cackled as he downloaded some data of his own into Buzzwang. "You know this is gonna be fun!"
Twenty five minutes later Doc and Zach were presenting a report to Commander Walsh in his office. "Oh and by the way what did you decide about Bubblehead?" Walsh asked.
"Don't worry, Buzzwang is watching Bubblehead," Doc waved.
"Buzzwang? You left that crazy memory bird with Buzzwang?" Walsh gave him a look. "And you don't the potential for any disasters with that situation?"
"Well yeah but neither one of us wanted to take the little guy home," Doc said.
"Come on what are the odds that Bubblehead will get away from him?" Zach said.
"Pretty good actually," Bubblehead flew into the office and landed on the desk. "Hi there! What are we talking about?"
"Oh how our lives keep falling into certain patterns," Walsh gave him a look.
"Okay I've changed my mind! I wanna go play with Doc and Zach!" Bubblehead said cheerfully. "Can I have your sock?" He asked Doc.
"No," Doc said.
"How about now?" Bubblehead asked.
"No."
"Now?"
"No."
"Now? How about now?"
"No!" Doc snapped.
"Can I have your sock?" Bubblehead asked Zach.
"Doesn't that stupid bird have an off switch?" Zach growled.
"If he did you think we'd have this problem right now?" Doc asked.
"Can I have a sock? How about your sock? Huh can I have a sock?" Bubblehead asked.
"I don't even want to know what this fixation you have with socks is," Doc groaned.
"I'll give him a sock…" Walsh made a fist.
"Play with me!" Bubblehead jumped up and down. "Come on Doc play with me!"
"Go ahead Doc, play with him. He's just gonna keep talking until you do," Zach said.
"Not if I shut down his vocal cords," Doc told him.
"I wouldn't do that," Bubblehead said. "You know the Goose might get mad."
"Yeah knowing him he'd want to do it himself," Doc groaned. "Where is Buzzwang? He's supposed to be watching him anyway!"
"DA DA!" Buzzwang hopped by wearing a black outfit, a black hat, a black mask and carried a sword. "I AM ZORRO! CHAMPION OF JUSTICE! AWAY! HA HA HA HA!"
Everyone's jaw dropped. Walsh glared at Bubblehead. "I don't know how you did that but I know you did it!" He snarled.
"Did what?" Bubblehead blinked.
"Oh great…" Doc groaned. "This is worse than the time Buzzwang thought he was Carmen Miranda."
"Worse?" Zach asked.
"Carmen didn't have swords," Doc gave him a look.
"OW!" Someone shouted. "THAT POINTY THING HURTS!"
"Okay one of you track down Zorro and drag him down to Q-Ball to fix him," Walsh sighed. "The other one takes the more dangerous assignment of handling Bubblehead."
"I'll get Buzzwang," Both Doc and Zach said. They glared at each other. "You take care of Bubblehead! No, you will!"
"Isn't this where I came in?" Bubblehead scratched his head with his wing.
"You take him! No, you take him!" Both Zach and Doc were yelling at each other. "You take him!"
"Note to self," Commander Walsh sighed. "The next time Gooseman is sent on an extended mission, send Bubblehead with him!"