Buzzwang's Tour
From Betamountain.org
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Buzzwang's Tour
by Red Witch
Rated: K+
Summary: Buzzwang gives his first and probably last tour of BETA Mountain.
The disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters has taken a trip. I took a trip and riding around on all those rides inspired me to write this!
"Welcome to BETA Mountain," Buzzwang told his tour group. "I'm Galaxy Ranger Buzzwang and I'll be your tour guide."
"Why do I have a feeling this was a mistake?" A heavy human diplomat sighed.
"Shut up Irving," His wife snapped.
"Everyone please board the tour vehicle made for this occasion," Buzzwang pointed to a futuristic tour cart. "Please keep your hands, feet, tentacles, tails and other extremities inside the car at all times and put on your safety belt. Thank you. Now we can begin."
"Over on your left we can see the main foyer of BETA Mountain. In addition to maintaining Earth's defenses BETA Mountain is also the center of Earth's diplomatic corps and…"
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Everyone screamed as the vehicle suddenly lunged forward at high velocity speeds.
"Don't panic! Please do not panic!" Buzzwang said. "Sometimes this vehicle has a slight burst of energy that will quickly subside! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"
"AAAAAHH!" Rangers ran for their lives in order to get out of the way of the vehicle.
"Oh dear! Oh! Here we are at the commissary, where delicious meals are prepared all the time! And this is the kitchen! WHOA!" Buzzwang shouted as the vehicle tore through the place.
SPLAT!
"Hey this pudding's not bad," Irving tasted the pudding on his shirt. "Needs more topping."
"AAAH! Sorry! Sorry! Watch out for the fire!" Buzzwang skidded the vehicle out of the cart and towards the hallway. "Coming through!"
"AAAH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
"CRAZY ANDROID DRIVER!"
SCREEEECH!
CRASH!
"Who put that wall there?" Irving's wife moaned.
"Is everyone all right?" Buzzwang asked.
"If by all right you mean had the daylights scared out of us and covered in pudding, yes we're fine!" A diplomat snapped.
"Okay we've had a slight detour," Buzzwang said. "This is Q-Ball's Lab. This is where our most esteemed scientist and my creator works and dreams up all his inventions."
"Just out of curiosity did this guy make the tour vehicle we're riding on?" A diplomat asked.
"Yes he did."
"Figures," The diplomat sighed.
"So where is he?" Irving asked.
"He accidentally locked himself in the bathroom again!" A pink bird in a purple lab coat flew in.
"Bubblehead! What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be in this lab anymore!" Buzzwang said.
"I'm not? Since when?" Bubblehead asked.
"Since the last time when you covered the entire floor in marshmallow topping!" Buzzwang snapped.
"It's not my fault! They were out of nacho cheese sauce!" Bubblehead chirped.
"This ladies and gentlemen is a memory bird, direct from the Queen of the Crown," Buzzwang explained. "You see memory birds are mechanical creations used to store valuable data and important classified information. They are highly prized for their secrets and knowledge."
"That's right. Who are you again?" Bubblehead blinked. "And what's with all the people?"
"Unfortunately ladies and gentlemen this particular memory bird…forgets things," Buzzwang sighed. "He has a few circuits crossed and some chips are loose."
"Ooh! What does this button do?" Bubblehead chirped.
"Bubblehead! No! No! Don't push that button!" Buzzwang yelled as Bubblehead pushed the button of an expensive looking machine.
ZZAAAPPP!
"So that's what it does!" Bubblehead chirped.
"Uh ladies and gentlemen we appear to have been shrunken by a shrink ray to an extremely small size," Buzzwang gulped. "Never fear! I'm sure that sooner or later someone will come to our aid."
"COCKROACH!" Someone screamed.
"Cockroach? Why would a cockroach…?" Buzzwang was puzzled. Then he saw the giant cockroach in front of him. "I've always told Q-Ball he should keep his lab tidier. HANG ON!"
SCREE! VROOM!
"Watch out for the falling pencils! AAAAAH!" Someone screamed.
BOOM! BOOM!
"LOOK OUT FOR THE GIANT PIPE!"
SCREECH! VROOM!
FLAP! FLAP!
"Hi guys! Need a lift?" A giant sized Bubblehead flew above them.
"No, Bubblehead! No! Let us go! BUBBLEHEAD!" Buzzwang screamed as Bubblehead effortlessly picked up the miniaturized vehicle with both feet and flew off.
"Hey let's do some loop de loops!" Bubblehead said cheerfully.
"HANG ON FOR YOUR LIVES PEOPLE!" Buzzwang shouted. "WHOA! OH NO! OH DEAR! MY STOMACH CIRCUITS DO NOT FEEL WELL!"
"Now let's check out the hangar bay!" Bubblehead said as they flew. "I wonder what the inside of an engine looks like?"
"No! Bubblehead! Stop! Stop! AAAAAAH!"
VROOOM!
"Hey watch where you're driving that thing!" Bubblehead snapped as a starship zoomed past them. "That guy nearly hit us!"
"BUBBLEHEAD! YOU'RE FLYING US STRAIGHT INTO THE PATH OF AN INCOMING STARSHIP!" Buzzwang screamed. "PULL UP! PULL UP!"
"WHOA! That was close!" As Bubblehead barely managed to fly over the ship. "Let's take the scenic route!"
"Not through the ventilation ducts! AAAAH! WHOA!" Buzzwang yelled as Bubblehead managed to get into an open duct and fly into it.
CREEEAAAAK!
"What's going on?" Irving yelled.
"Boy you guys are getting heavier! And bigger!" Bubblehead chirped.
"I think we're growing back to normal size!" Buzzwang said. "The effects of Q-Ball's shrink ray must only be short term!"
"Okay then this is the last stop! Everybody out!" Bubblehead flew out of a loose grate and into another room just as the vehicle and it's passengers grew back to normal size.
"AAAAAAAH!"
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
CRASH! CRUNCH!
"And this ladies and gentlemen is the office of Commander Walsh…" Buzzwang sighed. "The man in charge of BETA Mountain. It appears we landed on his desk. Or what's left of his desk…"
"Thank you ladies and gentlemen for coming on our tour," Bubblehead chirped. "You know the drill. Collect your personal belongings, take small children by the hand and yada, yada, yada! Now go away so we can clean up the mess!"
"BUZZWANG!" Commander Walsh shouted. "YOU BLASTED BUCKET OF BOLTS! I TOLD YOU THIS STUPID IDEA OF A TOUR WOULD NEVER WORK! BUZZZWANG!"
"Uh oh, gotta go folks! You've been a great audience!" Bubblehead flew away.
"What a ride…" Irving moaned. "Can we go on it again?"