BETA Mountain And The Great Pie Fight
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BETA Mountain And The Great Pie Fight
by Red Witch
Rated: K+
Summary: No one knows how it started. They only know how it ended. Complete chaos.
Both Doc and Goose trashed the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Ranger characters. I just get these crazy ideas and they have to come out!
BETA Mountain, the center of law enforcement of the League of Planets and charged with keeping the peace throughout the galaxy. The center of order and harmony in a universe of chaos.
"DOC YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!" Shane Gooseman chased Doc Hartford through BETA Mountain, knocking down people and wrecking every object in their path. "YOU HEAR ME! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!"
Well that was the theory anyway.
"Why?" Niko put her head in her hands. She and Zach were sitting in the Recreation Lounge listening to all the chaos going on. "Why does Doc constantly do stupid things that get him into trouble?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Doc ran by.
"COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A MAN!" Shane chased him.
"And why does he have to do them to Goose?" Niko sighed.
"AAAAAAAH!" Doc ran by in the other direction. "I'M TOO YOUNG AND HANDSOME TO DIE!"
"NO YOU'RE NOT!" Shane ran after him.
"Why do lemmings jump off of cliffs?" Zach shrugged his shoulders. "Why do whales occasionally beach themselves onto land?"
"YOU'RE A DEAD DUCK DOC!" Shane roared.
"MAD GOOSE ON THE LOOSE!" Doc yelled. "MAD GOOSE ON THE LOOSE!"
CRASH!
"Why don't we have a case of scotch nearby?" Zach sighed.
"What did Doc do this time?" Niko asked.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Doc ran by again, screaming.
"DIE! DOC! DIE!" Shane ran after him.
"Whatever it was, it must have been a doozy," Zach sighed. "But at least Goose isn't using the chainsaw this time."
"Oh my!" Buzzwang walked in rather briskly. "Ranger Niko! Captain Foxx! I have frightening news! Did you know that Ranger Gooseman is chasing Ranger Hartford?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Doc ran by with Shane close at his heels.
"We're aware of it," Zach remarked. "But why is Goose chasing Doc this time?"
"Gee I don't know," Buzzwang scratched his head in a human like fashion. "I'll ask him." He stuck his head out the door. "Doc why is Ranger Gooseman so angry at you?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Doc ran by with Shane still on his heels.
"Ranger Gooseman! Ranger Gooseman?" Buzzwang asked.
"YOU ARE GOING TO PAY DOC! PAY BIG TIME!" Shane shouted.
"They seem to be rather busy at the moment," Buzzwang walked back to the other two rangers.
"I just don't understand why Doc does these things when he knows they're going to bite him in the backside," Niko shook her head. "Or wherever else Goose can get his teeth on him."
"You must admit that having an angry Supertrooper chase you is an excellent exercise regimen," Buzzwang spoke. "I've never seen Ranger Hartford move so fast before."
"GOOSE! NO!"
CRASH! SMASH! SHATTER!
"MISSED ME!" Doc laughed.
"I WON'T MISS THE NEXT TIME!" Shane roared.
CRASH!
"If the Goose catches him you'll never see Doc move again," Zach sighed. "I guess we'd better stop this nonsense before all of BETA gets wrecked!"
They reluctantly followed the trail of debris to the commissary where Doc was dodging food being flung by Shane. Doc was surprisingly agile but several other Rangers were getting hit. "ALL RIGHT KNOCK IT OFF!" Zach yelled.
Unfortunately he accidentally got in the cross hairs of Shane's shot.
SPLAT!
"Oops," Shane blinked as a chocolate pie dribbled down Zach's face.
"Good one Gooseman!" Doc said cheerfully.
SPLAT!
"NIKO!" Doc yelled as some pie was now on his face.
"Oops," She snickered.
"Okay I'll get you!" Doc yelled as he grabbed a pie.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Shane yelled as he tossed some more food. Before anyone else knew what was happening all four Series Five Rangers were involved in a major pie fight.
WHAM!
"I think Captain Foxx's arm is getting a little too powerful for it's own good," Q-Ball gulped as he saw the hole in the wall made where Zach had thrown the pie.
"Commander Walsh you have to stop them!" Dr. Nagata told Commander Walsh.
"If you think I am getting involved in that you are crazier than they are!" Walsh snapped. "I'm not even sure I'm safe on the sidelines!"
WHAM!
"There's another hole in the wall," Buzzwang said.
"Well what are you going to do about this?" Dr. Nagata asked.
"Do what I always do," Walsh sighed. "Wait for them to knock each other out then send them on the most dangerous mission in the most remote part of the galaxy I can think of."
"EAT BANANA CREAM DOC!" Shane shoved a huge chunk down Doc's throat.
"UUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH!" Doc's eyes went wide.
"OW! NIKO NO HITTING! NO FAIR!" Zach shouted.
"ZACH WATCH YOUR BIONIC ARM! IT'S GLOWING AGAIN!" Niko shouted.
"I wanted a team of lawmen to take on the most ruthless criminals and most powerful aliens in the galaxy," Walsh moaned. "And what did I get? Four overgrown children!"
BOOOOOOOOOM!
"I TOLD YOU TO GO IN FOR THAT TUNE UP ZACH!" Niko shouted.
"Four insane super powered children that delight in turning BETA Mountain into gravel from the inside out," Walsh moaned. "Now where is that case of scotch when I need it?"