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Mindnet
as reviewed by kalinara via the Pretty, Fizzy Paradise Blog
Originally aired September 16, 1986
Note: This review was originally posted by kalinara on March 12, 2009 and is being used here with permission.
Hi everyone! I took a break, but now I'm back to my recaps.
Today's episode is called Mindnet! This is notable because there was a device called the "Mindnet" introduced last episode. Isn't that convenient?
I mock, but to be fair, we ARE talking about an 80s show here. I think it was generally more common for our Suddenly Very Important MacGuffins to be introduced in the episode directly focused on it. So the fact that the Mindnet is introduced an episode before is actually fairly significant.
Of course, this is cancelled out by the fact that the episodes were shown in such a haphazard order (and are STILL occasionally misordered in certain the DVD sets, which occasionally ends up very obvious) that I'm stuck relying on fan timelines for episode order. Oh well.
It IS worth it to see it in order. Now, mini-rant aside: onto the recap!
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This episode begins with Goose flying into "Longshot airspace." We've actually heard mention of Longshot in a previous episode or two, but this is the first time we see it. It's a fairly standard science-fantasy research place. Lots of big computers and people in lab coats.
One such labcoated person, who has a vaguely German accent, walks the halls with an armed fellow in what looks like a slightly inappropriate amount of leather. They're discussing Mindnet. Apparently leather-man is not happy about Mindnet being stored in a research facility rather than somewhere "maximum security."
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The doctor, I presume, actually agrees with him, but takes more of a "what can ya do?" attitude. Apparently their job is to keep testing it until the Board Leaders makes up their mind about it.
Good to know that bureaucratic inconvenience is still strong and hale in the next hundred years or so.
Leather-man kind of has an Animated Richard Hatch-in-new-BSG thing going on. Which is pretty impressive considering that new-BSG is about twenty years from being invented yet. Still he totally looks like Tom Zarek. Which is what I'll probably call him until I hear a name.
Which I do, actually, just after I finish typing that last paragraph. Not!Zarek is actually "Security Chief DeSilva." So the trick to getting this show to give me character names is to resort to annoying nicknames! Works for me!
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Anyway, DeSilva gets a call on his nifty wrist thingy, and we learn why Goose is there. Apparently the Board of Leaders has sent him with orders to collect Mindnet. I'd bitch about poor security, but Goose is usually fairly effective as long as he's not crashing his spacecraft.
They greet Goose, who's surprisingly abrupt. Goose isn't the most sociable guy, granted, but he's usually fairly polite when not pissed. Early Clint Eastwood-tip the hat, give a one-liner, and ride off into the sunset, kind of thing.
Also, his voice sounds a bit higher pitched and more breathy than usual. Kind of like when an inexperienced drinker downs their first shot of whiskey, and feels the burn for the first time, and spends most of the next few minutes trying not to cough. (This happens to me a lot when I try to drink.) It's a little peculiar.
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When DeSilva demands identification, Gooseman leans into his personal space and pretty much shouts "ID? Get serious?" It's more than a little peculiar now. Goose decides to verify his identity not by presenting his credentials, but by walking straight toward the electric shock field, grinning maniacally, and shoving his hand into it. His fist gets all bio-defense-y, naturally.
DeSilva's smarter than your average bear though and points out that while they worked on the Series 5 Implant that the Rangers use to access their powers (exposition: mine), they ought still get confirmation. I may love you Not!Zarek. The Doctor agrees and leads them down a nifty walkway past huge climbing multi-story vines in a tank, toward the Mindnet lab.
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As they pass the tank, the Doctor points out two dolphins as "your friends." I believe this is the first time we've encountered the pet dolphins. Awesome. Their names are Icarus and Winter (why does everyone name things after Icarus? Naming things after Daedalus makes sense, because he invented the damn things, but Icarus was just an idiot who flew too damn high. Why make overstepping your abilities to lethal consequences worthy of immortalization?)
Goose doesn't acknowledge the dolphins as he passes, causing one of the dolphins' weird harness thing to light up and a high pitched voice to protest being ignored. The two humans in underwater gear look at each other. One queries that he thought Goose was their friend and the other agrees and decides to contact security just in case.
Heaven help us all, COMPETENT underling characters, taking their own initiative even! You'd think I'd be used to it in this show, but it still feels like a sign of the apocalypse. :-)
Anyway, the diver taps a button and blasts out of the water.
The Doctor leads Goose over to Mindnet. Apparently Mindnet is the helmet, rather than the weird thing that got shoved inside last episode. That's good to know because I wasn't completely clear on that. Goose picks it up.
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Suddenly, an underling announces to DeSilva that Security's on line one. Goose doesn't take too kindly to this, and does a nice leaping kick, knocking the gun out of his hand, and punching poor Not!Zarek across the room. The Doc picks up the fallen gun, and calls for security.
Okay, while I do think you guys are unexpectedly competent through most of this opening sequence, it might have been good to verify his orders BEFORE letting him into the room with the Mindnet!
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Goose exhales in the poor Doc's face, and the Doc keels over. That's some breath! Goose, in his -just-drank-whisky-for-the-first-time high voice tells him to enjoy the nap and heads over to the Mindnet.
They really SHOULD have realized that something was off when he didn't growl at them. Hmph.
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Anyway, he picks up the helmet and runs to the hanger bay, which seems like an impractically short distance to run if this Mindnet really is as powerful an dangerous as they say, wouldn't it be better to keep it under more security? But then, perhaps that's DeSilva's problem.
The entire facility starts firing at him, but he gets away. Mindnet in hand. Eek. Once free, "Goose" gleefully explains that not only did he get the Mindnet, but when they look for the thief, they'll go straight to Gooseman. Then he pulls off his face.
This fellow is decidedly NOT Goose. In fact, he's clearly quite a bit older. Dark haired. One dark blue eye, and one cloudy eye with a big scar running through it. He has a strong jaw and a blinding grin...and naturally a much deeper voice.
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I have to compliment the people planning this show for the voice thing actually. A lot of shows would have had the original character's voice actor do the voice for the impersonator as well. This is fine if they have naturally similar voices, but a deeper voiced person affecting a higher pitched voice tends to sound very different than someone naturally speaking in that range. He sounded so weird because he was a baritone trying to speak in falsetto.
On the other hand, I have to gripe about the mask thing. Sure, it LOOKED cool. And the two characters have slightly similar facial structures. But there are some differences. (The impersonator looks like he has a thicker jaw and more protruding nose. Goose has sharper cheekbones. Et cetera.) And I have doubts that even the best mask would look right stretched over a different set of bones.
But then I'm probably being nitpicky and should file this in the same part of my brain that enjoys Mission Impossible episodes. :-) [And honestly, there probably is something ridiculous about bitching about MASKS in a show with robot horses, psychic bugs, and emotion dolls.]
So anyway, the impersonator continues his monologue by declaring that soon everyone will know that Goose is not the best of the Supertroopers, and he gives us his name: Ryker Kilbane.
Two episodes after the initial, un-dramatic reveal that Shane Gooseman is indeed a Supertrooper, we get our first renegade counterpart. Awesome!
Also, I hate to say this but while Ryker Kilbane might have some sort of recognition complex, he certainly lucked out namewise. "Kilbane" is kind of an awesome name. Certainly more awesome than "Gooseman." Where the hell do genetically engineered supersoldiers GET last names anyway?
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I'm returned from my digression by the sight of Niko, Zach, Waldo and Zozo in a really odd situation. The three men (or men-type creatures) are in this strange bowl-shaped inflatable looking thing, while Niko stands on what looks like a diving board over it. Each male-type-creature is in an odd circle. Zozo is bouncing about like a loon, it should be noted.
Apparently they're all trying to convince Waldo to take part in something called "Zero-G Gymnastics." Which kind of sounds like cheating if you ask me. But on the other hand, it also sounds like a lot of fun. Waldo appreciates the effort, but considers "Zero-G" to not be natural.
Um, Waldo. Isn't SPACE zero-g? Wouldn't that, ya know, make it NATURAL? I'm just sayin'.
Zozo is back to his awesome self by pointing out the same damn thing I just typed. "If it's unnatural, why's there so much of it?" Which is actually better than what I just typed. I love you Zozo.
Zach chimes in that Waldo should try it, it's easy. Then bounces in the circle, which is apparently a trampoline. It pushes him through a weird mess of bubbles at the ceiling of the room (hyper-powered trampoline!), and into a weird dome where he does tricks in mid air.
Zach's kind of annoying.
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Anyway, Niko assures Waldo they won't let him get hurt as Zach hops back down to the trampoline in the background. There's something funny about that shot but I can't really explain why.
Waldo protests that it's all so undignified. Aw. Poor Waldo. Dignity really isn't any fun. That's why I made my blog the color of radioactive cotton candy.
Zozo gets bored with Waldo's whining, hops over to his Tram-am-poline, and hops them both up into Zero-G. He then invites Niko to dance. Our man Zozo has style.
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Niko dives from the board, hops from the tram-am-poline, and into the zero g chamber, when suddenly her badge lights up and she gasps and faints. Zozo calls for help.
Goose is standing on the edge of some see-saw looking thing, and orders Doc to give him a boost, which he does so by leaping on the other end. Goose propels into the zero-g chamber and catches Niko.
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I'm not entirely sure why that was necessary, or why he couldn't just use the trampoline thing. or why Zach who was closer couldn't use the trampoline thing. But okay.
Possibly it has to do with the whole leaping down a story or two once back in the non-zero-g area to land on a bunch of mattresses? Who knows. Anyway, Niko comes to and explains that something terrible has happened, while Doc scans her and announces that something activated her implant.
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A fellow with blue hair and an oddly old-school Battlestar Galactica style cape appears on the view screen. He introduces himself as Senator Wheiner (pronounced "whiner") and explains that a) Mindnet's stolen, b) Goose looks like the culprit, c) Zach's to bring the Rangers for a formal inquiry, and d) Zach's got to arrest Goose.
Goose is rather understandably indignant and announces that he took an oath. Zach tells Wheiner that he's making a big mistake. Wheiner hangs up. Dick.
Goose quietly thanks Zach for backing him, and Zach tells him that the day they don't trust one another is the day they're finished. Aw. Sure it's kid-soundbyte friendly, but it's a sweet sentiment.
Doc quips that he was just getting used to ONE Goose, while Goose asserts with some mild irritation that it wasn't him. Niko points out that they're dealing with a very dangerous enemy and they need to identify him/her.
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The Rangers now stand before Commander Walsh. Zach asserts that Goose isn't a traitor, while Doc asks a pertinent question: "Just where are the other Supertroopers that survived?"
That survived? Now THAT's something that sounds like it has a story behind it! Anyway, Goose murmurs that he wishes he knew, before turning to Walsh and his awesome mustache and asking what exactly he was supposed to have stolen.
Walsh explains that the Mindnet is "a means of artificially induced telepathy." Hmm. Considering that the Rangers actually used it last episode, I wonder if my guide wasn't mistaken about the order. I suppose we'll see if/when they get the Mindnet back.
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Walsh points out that on high settings it could allow control of intelligent life. Waldo, of all people, quips that it's fortunate Senator Wheiner is safe. Heh. I get the feeling he's not popular in this bunch.
Okay! Apparently the device IS both parts that we saw last episode, as Walsh explains that "the thief" only got HALF of the device and the other half is stored in BETA headquarters.
That's actually a fairly clever security measure!
Zach asks if the thief can get Mindnet to function, and Walsh admits that he doesn't know. The stolen part has powers they don't completely understand. Which brings up the interesting question of where it came from, but no one asks. Normally I'd call that a blind spot, but in this show, it could very well just mean the characters already know and thus don't feel the need to ask.
I appreciate the show for that, but at the same time, it can be damn frustrating.
Niko points out that it does work and it activated her charge. Walsh is worried because the Board is "still sensitive about the surviving supertroopers." Which is definitely an intriguing as well as alliterative statement. Zach wants time to find Mindnet, and Walsh tells them that he has 24-hours before he has to turn Goose over.
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We go to a weird tower on a barren moon type thing, where Kilbane is presenting Mindnet to the Queen. Eek. She's upset though, because she wants ALL of Mindnet, not just one part. Kilbane insists that half would still boost her powers, but the Queen knows how to play him and snaps back that he'd told her he was the most powerful of the Supertroopers. But in actuality, he's just able to imitate Gooseman's powers for a few seconds.
Kilbane and his Massive Ego does not like this, and he insists that Gooseman needs his implant to work his powers, where Kilbane summons his at will. He also pops out a set of Wolverine-esque claws, which HAS to be an intentional homage. He then beats up a pillar.
Oh, for the record, Ryker Kilbane apparently belongs to the Ricardo Montalban as Khan Noonien Singh school of fashion. He's wearing an orange bandanna, black pants, and an open vest. Also, he's got a mullet and is wearing finger-less gloves. Actually, he kind of looks like him in the face too. But that might just be me being fooled by his horrible clothes.
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Oh, I see! The bad clothing choices are a supertrooper thing! That makes perfect sense. I mean, think about it. Say you breed up a bunch of soldiers who escape (as they are wont to do), to find them, just look for the most idiotically dressed people in the crowd! Perfect!
I'd totally genetically engineer super-soldiers that way. But then I'm also insane, so there you go.
Kilbane declares himself to be Gooseman's superior in every way and declares that he'll bring her not only the rest of Mindnet but the Galaxy Rangers!
The Queen tells him that if he fails her again, he'll end up in a psycho-crystal. Um, from what we've seen so far, if she does end up using his brain to power a Slaver Lord, I suspect the poor zombie robot will starve. I'm just sayin'.
Then for no apparent reason, she blasts the REST of the pillar that Kilbane already attacked. That poor poor pillar. It's like a battle to see which of them can be the most short-sighted and melodramatic villain around. But at least the Queen is better dressed.
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Meanwhile, back at Beta, Zach warns Niko that her powers are going to be stretched to the limit. Apparently the plan involves some sort of computer link-up. Doc's helping of course. Niko's willing to do whatever it takes to clear Goose.
Where the hell is Goose anyway? Wouldn't it be a good idea to keep him with you, since you know there's an impostor running around?
Anyway, apparently Zach and co. are not supposed to be here, as we know because an odd robot wearing glasses quickly warns Captain Foxx that someone is coming.
AH, that's what they're doing. Doc gets the computer to release the other part of Mindnet, so Niko can use it to find the missing half. It's a reasonable plan, but seems like it's also an invitation to someone to come steal that one as well, now that it's under very little guard.
Huh, apparently the Rangers have some communal abilities as well, as they all huddle in a circle, one hand together, and one hand touching their badges. Niko's the only one not activating her implant, as her hand is on the other part of Mindnet.
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She tells Goose to picture the other Supertroopers in his mind and holy hell, apparently no one was breeding for looks. EGADS.
Goose is a fairly good looking guy when he's not scrunching his face up to look prematurely forty-ish, and except for the scar, Kilbane's got the Ricardo-Montalban-Khan thing going on. But they're apparently the flukes out of the deal, if the rest of these folk are any indication. Yeech.
Anyway, the vision focuses on Kilbane, and Niko affirmatively identifies him as the Mindnet thief. Doc apparently doesn't need to touch computers to work 'em like this, and Kilbane's datafile shows up on the monitor. Goose mutters that he should have figured.
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OT Thought:
